Terrapin Tables

The $25,000 Rockfish

With your host Dick Clark. I guess it is actually Boog Powell. Either way, it is bizarre.

Medicine

"So you can see you have every disease, and a few we've never really seen. They've reached a sort of symbiance and are balanced in such a way that it isn't affecting you."
"So what you're saying is I'm invincible?"
"Oh dear God no, the slightest breeze could kill you"
"Invincible..."

Best Dunk Attempt Ever

Since everyone seemed to think that my previous post was too cute . . .

Miami Vice

New Michael Mann film coming. Awesome. I love Michael Mann films, and I know a few of you guys do too. Except, Miami Vice is ripe for failure. Here's why:

- Colin Farrell. Has never been in a good movie. Seriously, look it up. Not one.

- The original. Stupid pseudo-slick Miami trash in pastel suits. I will not get the Don Johnson image out of my head for the length of the movie.

- there's no one else bu Farrell and Jamie Foxx in the movie who I've even heard of.

- The best song they could get for the commercial? That Jay-Z/Linkin Park fiasco. A shit song from forever ago: not a good sign.

That being said, it's still Michael Mann. He made Collateral a good flick in spite of Tom Cruise, and everything else he touches turns to awesome. So I'm holding out hope.

But Ricardo Tubbs ain't exactly Ray Charles...

There's nothing on the site, so . . .

What's another word for rooster? How about cat?

And you think we drink a lot

A property manager was asked to check out an occupied townhouse in Ogden, Utah, only to discover that he couldn't get in the front door. Coming around to the back of the house, he saw the reason. The townhouse was filled with 70,000 beer cans. The tennant had been living in these piles of Coors Light for eight years. Which means he managed to average 24 beers a day, and was living in that house with the water turned off...

Two Buttons

That's all Roy can handle.

Jobs for people who like night vision

So Bush's speech last night was interesting. He called for an immediate deployment of National Guard troops for one year (I hope he has an exit strategy), and will add new tech to the border (including unmanned aerial vehicles -- what, do we extra ones lying around? Shouldn't they be used in Fallujah?). But the President also said he supports a temporary worker program, and his support for the earned naturalization of illegals was exactly what most Democrats were trying to get passed in the Sentate. I have no idea how he plans to end the catch-and-release system they have now (besides "more beds"...), but all in all, I thought it was rather progressive for a hometown Republican.

Boo Beer!

Give me your pants. Oh, and High Life sucks too.

Video game news

So right now the Electronic Entertianmenet Expo (E3) is going on in L.A. It's an annual event where the big game makers come out an reveal new games and consoles. Figured I'd update people on the big news items:

Playstation 3

• The PS3 is coming out in late November, witih a price of $499. This includes a 20GB hard drive and 5 years of free Sony's online service (also new with the PS3, so now all games can be played via's Sony's interface, rather than each game having it's own).


• A higher-end model will feature a 60GB hard drive and HDMI output, which will sell for $599. This will be the only console that can output full HD in progressive mode.


• The PS3 controllers look just like PS2's DualShock II's, except the come with wireless Bluetooth now. They also have tilt sensors in them.


• Sony's getting a lot of crap for their high prices, but Sony defends it because it includes a Blu-Ray drive, which is one of the two new High Definition DVD formats coming out. The $499 PS3 actually costs Sony $600 and change to make.

XBox 360

• Microsoft is basically showing off all of its games that are coming out. As expected, it all looks very nice.


• XBox's online service is staying at $50/year.


• The 360 will come out with an HD-DVD player add-on (HD-DVD is the other, competing, format for next-gen DVD players). The price will be "a steal".

Nintendo Wii

• The newly-and-horribly-named "Wii" has graphics similar to the GameCube, but Nintendo promises to change gaming forever with their controllers. Basically, it's a wireless remote with tilt sensors and motion sensors that you use to control you character. There's only a handful of buttons - motion will be integral to all games. So when you play tennis, you swing your arm. Golf is played standing up, and using the remote as a golf club.


• The Wii's price isn't out yet, but expect $200-$250.


• The Wii can be connected to the internet 24/7, with built-in Wi-Fi. It can download games, programs and updates and such while you're asleep.


• It includes a web browser.


• It can play GameCube discs, and has spots to connect GameCube controllers.


• It also includes a "Virtual Console" so you can play games from NES, SNES, Sega Genesis and N64. The games will be downloaded by the Wii from Nintendo.


• They're already showing off Duck Hunt. Sweet. (bonus: you can hear David Cross in the second video)

So the big winner so far is Nintendo - hundreds of dollars lower than the other consoles, with games that are looking very fun. However, due to an overall lack of sports games and adult titles, most people will opt for an XBox 360 or PS3. With the PS3's prices, and no guarantee that the Blu-Ray drive will even play Blue-Ray movies (the movie studios may put in copy protection), the 360 is gaining a lot of ground. It should also be noted that HD-DVD is backwards compatible with today's DVDs - Blu-Ray is not.

What's Spanish for "bottle"?

There's this Mexican (I'm guessing) homeless (I'm guessing) dude that's always scrounging around my town for bottles - you get a few cents each out here. Usually he's raiding dumpsters. He's a big fan of the dumpster by the bowling alley, and though their dumpster is behind a locked fence, it doesn't stop him from wedging the top half of his body between slats so he can reach the precious Coors bottles inside.

Now, he's taken to loading his ancient shopping cart with bottles and pushing it down the street. I'm assuming he's on his way to wherever it is that will give you money for bottles, but you can never tell with this sort of shit. Today he decided it work best if he went against the flow of traffic on a road about as busy as Rt. 2.

Great Scott, it's the Libyans!!

Anyone need some uranium? Maybe Rick wants to experiement with an H-bomb - always a good idea, and you're a fag if you don't.* Maybe to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, you could swallow some and see how bad it really is. Maybe we can honor John's Russian heritage (he's tall and blonde, and that's kinda German, and Germany is like totally close to Russia) by playing Chernobyl with some "high-level" ore, 3 M-80s, and a blender set to "merengue." No matter how you approach it, radioactive isotopes are just good fun.

* - I'm upping the ante because, being a sissy, he never built that flamethrower.

I'm Special

Wednesday was the opening of the kickball regular season. While I was trying to figure out if one of the pumps to inflate the kickballs was functional, the entire end of the pump shot off and the needle struck me on the inside of my right nostril. Your guess as to how I survived childhood is as good as mine.

This has to be a joke

I try and refrain from posting things that are of too explicit a nature, but I came across this on the Phat Phree website, and, well, I'm not sure it is safe to look at while at work. But, um, yeah . . .

Things Not To Do

1) Put hand on stove,
2) Tease hungry pit bull,
3) Be Raymond Burns:

"Burns, who was driving the truck, also emerged and used racial obscenities and threatened to kill [Dolphins DL] Taylor. The 5-11, 168-pound Burns then retrieved an unknown metal object from his truck and tried to stab the 6-6, 255-pound Taylor, the report said."

Good plan, finding the biggest, strongest, and fastest human being in the state, calling him The N Word, and stabbing at him. And even if you'd killed him, his no-neck brother-in-law (overrated but able to snap me in two Middle Linebacker Zach Thomas) would be on your doorstep. Good plan Burns.