Terrapin Tables

Proof that God exists

and that he loves you. With Kirk Cameron. Sometimes a banana is a banana, and sometimes it's a big, yellow . . . Anyway, it actually seems like a pretty good argument for evolution, but what do I know.

Feeling Old, Revisited

I was listening to the Chili Peppers on my computer yesterday, and I thought, what the hell, I'll make a playlist based on the original album. So I looked up Blood Sugar Sex Magik on Amazon to get the songs and their order, and saw that the release date was 1991. 15 years ago. So I decided to look up another two of my favorite albums- Ten and Nevermind. They were released in the same year. I'm fuckin' old.

"I Hate Jeffrey Maier"

Baltimore college student created a movie about the incident during Game 1 of the 1996 American League Championship Series.

Sunday Night Listenin'

Just when you thought it was safe to turn your speakers back on, here comes another installment of my Sunday Night Listenin' segment. This week we're gonna feature another rap act, Steve Flo and B-Benny. But instead of the vintage skills I showed you last time, this is what happens when highschoolers influenced by Mike Jones and proper grammar write the soundtrack for...wait for it...a pep rally.

Here's the mp3 of Steve Flo and B-Benny "Bells are Scurred."

They get bonus points for the banner ad - a high school website sponsored by DrinkingInnovations.com - proud suppliers of the 4-head keg tap.

Worst. President. Ever.

I am so damn sick of looking at that f-ing picture, and am saddened by the fact that it is now associated with me.
Anyway, I think most of us are sort of amused by Bush, though some of us loathe him. Anyway, here is the opinion of someone knowledgable regarding the subject of Presidents and their competency.

Happy Albersday

I knew 4-20 was a popular number, but I haven't smoked weed in way longer than any of you would believe. Then I remembered that 4-20 is John's birthday, so, in grand TTables tradition of wishing each other happy birthday (you know how I know you're gay? You wish your friends happy birthday), happy birthday.

Sweet, one more year without shaking hands with a Metro bus, so that's a good thing.

This guy has a birthday present for you:

I Passed!

That's right friends, I successfully defended my dissertation! So wherever you are, give pause, and raise a glass for me!

Feeling Old

So I'm watching some Family Guy with my new best friend last night, and it''s the Petoria episode, the one with Clinton sitting naked in the Oval Office. And she kind of wonders out loud, "why didn't they use Bush? It can't be that old...". And I'm doing the math, and if Bushy is on year 6, then...yes, old. Time to feel old: Family Guy premiered over 7 years ago. What the hell.

John - which Super Bowl did it come on after? '99, '98 season - that's when the Niners stomped the Falcons, right? Go Niners. First TD was a post pattern to Rice, I remember that much. '98 Niners - best team on Madden, evar. Enough babbling.

Touchdown, Jesus

"For the first time in sports history, a professional franchise will wear Bible-themed jerseys during a game."

OMG! Clouds!

Watch out... clouds! I just thought this was funny.

Oh, and I want to give a shout out to my main man Jeebus, who got schooled on this day, 1,973 or so years ago. I will be sure to mourn your passing by eating chocolate bunnies and cramming Peeps into my mouth.

And props to John Albers for posting the 1,000th entry on TerrapinTables! It only took me 21 days to realize it...

Enroll. Withdraw. Enroll. Withdraw.

Something a little less serious.

Que?

Last time I checked, illegal immigrants did not have the right to assemble. I'm not sure where the confusion is with this issue. If you are here illegally, go home, or be forced home. Fuck your rally.

The Perfect Couple

Ah, if Rick didn't already have a girlfriend, and this woman wasn't already married... She could ask him what he was thinking about, and when he answerred her honestly, she could respond, "Oh, me, too."

Wishful Thinking

I'm working like all the goddamn time, so I haven't had time to really read this beyond the synopsis. But, National Geographic is claiming that they have found (or someone found, and they're analyzing) a new gospel. Apparently it's the gospel of Judas. And apparently, Jesus told him to turn him over to the Romans.

Which means one of tow things. Either Judas was bullshitting and covering his ass, which is doubtful because he thought he was talking to God, and God would know better, or a fundamental piece of Christianity is incomplete at best, horseshit at worst (how many times have you had to read/see Judas metaphors? Too goddamn many).

Hopefully I'm accurate in my assessment, and neo-Jesus killbots like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Douchebag McGee will sit up, blink their eyes a few times, and say, "wow, this here book really was written by man. We've been wrong for centuries. Maybe we should calm the fuck down, because it's now been proven that we don't always know what the hell we're talking about. I'm going to go apologoze to all those gay people I spit on the other day."

Of course, if that happened, the universe would certainly implode. But, man, I hope this works out to be a big deal, and no one is afraid to say very loudly, "see, Christians, you don't always know what's right - you don't even know your own history. So fuck the fuck off, fuckers."

Wishful thinking.

Ants

When I came back to SF after my Xmas/New Year's escapade, there were ants in my place. Lots. But the place was really clean. Long story short, they're still here. Apparently they live in the walls of my apartment complex, and crawl out of cracks in the walls, ceilings, edges of doors, etc. It's not as gross as it sounds, I really have a pretty nice place (I better, for $1050 a month), but I can't get rid of the goddamn ants, because, well, they probably own all the space behind every wall.

So I'm trying to find tricks online - snazzy ways to make ants never come back ever again. I prefer chemicals, or possibly napalm, but mostly there's just a bunch of fruity happy suggestions like black pepper, mint, chalk, some kind of hippie soy soap, Borax (isn't that that fuzzy orange dude that loved the trees?), and then there's item #13 here. Seriously,that's awesome. And it comes out of nowhere, right after "natural repellent of citrus peelings."

Anyway, this is the worst post ever, so, Go Lady Terps. Fuck Duke, and such.

Simpsons movie

This video premiered at 8:22 tonight, but the lady Terrapins were embroiled in what looked like a wrestling match, but with more crying, so I'll go ahead and post the link now (I, too, was actually watching "sports" instead of Simpsons). Anywho, here's a page that links to the movie trailer for The Simpsons, coming out in summer of 2007.

Enjoy..