Terrapin Tables

Patent Pending?

The resemblance to someone's beer pong tables is striking.

Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name.

If you do well enough on this, perhaps you can tell Trebek to "Suck It" in person.

Paging Dr. Freud

Last night I had a dream that I was playing cards, Texas Hold'em, the card game du jour and the one played at our weekly games. I believe everyone I was playing cards with was a stranger. I was dealt a 9 and a 10, both red, I can't remember which was which. The flop comes out two 9's and a 10. The turn, the other 9. The river, a 10. So I'm obviously doing alright in the hand. I don't recall any betting in the hand. So I go to show my hand, and the cards are lodged in my throat (commence with vulgar commentary). I can breathe, but I'm having trouble talking. So anyway, feel free to send the men in the white coats to my office.

And for something completely different, you can buy Ghostface the Doll, although the website can be sort of finicky loading. This page seems to load better, but there is no nifty soundtrack.

"Here's how it might work"

In case Devastatin' Dave didn't disgust you enough:

1. Immature cells would be harvested from a pig, cow, chicken or turkey and cultured.

2. Cooks could buy these starter cells, and add them to a growth medium, which would contain water, sugar, salt vitamins, amino acids and growth factors that would stimulate them to reproduce.

3. The mixture would be put into a counter top incubator, where it would be warmed to encourage growth.

4. The cells would develop into muscle fibre.

5. Hours later, small pieces of meat could be harvested, washed and cooked, either in a patty or a sauce.

Bon Apetit, bitches of the 22nd century.

Sunday Night Listenin'

Maybe I can start a new weekly TTables feature...Sunday Night Listenin' with DJ Ghonno. Kicking us off at the top of the hour we have a classic from 1986, Brooklyn's own (I'm guessing) Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave. Nobody kept it realer.

Okay, EVERYBODY keeps it realer. Your Grandma keeps it realer. If you need proof, turn up the bass, crack open a Stroh's, and let the smooth flow of Devastain' Dave take you back to the good ol' days of Reagan, Sigourney Weaver sending Aliens to hell, and the space shuttle Challenger. Good night everybody.

Real Age?

There seemed to be some interest in this website the other night so I'll post it here. What is your Real Age?

FUCK YOU JJ....

Texas sucks

This almost seems like entrapment.

Hey!!!

Hey!!! It's my birthday!!! Drink one for me!!! Hot dog!!!

What the...?

I've been working a lot recently, including late on Friday (yes, I spent my St. Patrick's night writing and uploading documents for a conference). I took the opportunity to sleep in Saturday until 2:30, much later than I've slept in years. And then I promptly got back to work while listening to the NCAA tournament (in a related story, Carl Krauser is dead to me). And so it is only now that I'm seeing this.

Beware the Ides of March

Because it means that Rick continues to be over there. And old. Today is his birthday, so here is some sexiness to get you through the day. Et tu, Ricky?

Also, it is Nathan's daughter's birthday, so happy birthday Natalie.

Too bad my dissertation already has a title...

Because there is no better title for an article than this.

Seriously, how great is that? I guess I should say something about the column. It's about a fascinating study conducted by Andy Gelman and colleagues. I consider Gelman to be on of the top statisticians working today. One of his books has reached bible status in part of my field, he has been instrumental in developing the methodology I'm using in my dissertation, and yes, I read his blog every day. In other words, I roll with Andy Gelman.

Yeah, so this post is basically my rambling thoughts as I wait for something to print.

N-I-T! N-I-T!

We wuz robbed. Here's what ESPN has to say:

"Maryland: The loss of Chris McCray at midseason really defused the Terps. They struggled down the stretch, winning only five of their final 13 games, with no real quality wins in that stretch."

Yes, that's true. But, we had (if I'm right) the 11th hardest schedule in all of college hoops, and we finished with 19 wins and an 8-8 ACC record. Tell me how, even with a shaky season and the loss of a captain, we aren't a top-64 team.

I told you ACC expansion was going to fuck UMD. No more bowl games, ever, and now we play enough powerhouse teams every year that we'll be lucky to see the NCAAs again.

Of course, you can go ahead and order 2006 NCAA tournament tickets through the Terrapin Club if you want. If I buy a ticket to an event, is someone then legally obligated to put on said event? Quick, everyone order tournament tickets.

And yes we deserved it more than FSU, though they were a game ahead of us in ACC play. They didn't play anybody, got lucky beating Duke (shit, even WE beat Duke once a year), got fucking hammered in the ACC tourney, and all their fans do that stupid indian chant. That alone disqualifies them. Fags.

More than meets the eye

I loved the Dinobots.

And so it begins....

...well, the right to choose was fun while it lasted...

Oscar? I just met her.

Crash is an overrated movie. I thought it stunk, but to be fair, I think most movies stink. That being said, every movie up for Best Picture, I felt, was a better movie. And I should know, because I have them all on DVD. Thank you interweb. Whatever.

So, because the Oscars sucked, I went in the bathroom and got nuts. Here's the result, for those of you that have never seen the back of my neck. This concludes my bored, drunk, Sunday-night mini-ramble.

WAKA

The dopey little kickball organization that started up once upon a time seems to be turning to the dark side.

Cool game

Give this a go....I had a hell of a time getting past level 3.