Terrapin Tables

Two Things

1) I don't like to wish harm on anyone (not true), but cross your fingers Brad Johnson misplaces an elbow or something, so Shaun Hill gets a few snaps. M-A-R-Y-L...and so on.

2) Holy shit Rick, is the brick archway in the background one of the levels from the original Mortal Kombat? It is, isn't it? I knew it.

Über-powerful subwoofer (nerd warning)

So looking at this product from Eminent Technology might make you think it's just a fan. But the 17"-diameter rotating fan's blades change their pitch according to a voice coil, which creates a wall of air as large as your living room to create the world's most powerful subwoofer. This explanation by the designers is a pretty good overview. It talks about how hard it is to move air just by moving your hand back and forth (subs use the same principle), but if you move the air with a fast fan, you can move it faster/with more energy.

Yes,

I know this is a dopey internet quiz. But I had fun taking it, and you will too, if you know what is good for you.

Photos now on TT.com

So the photos section of Terrapin Tables has been down lately, mostly because Snapfish lost most of my albums that I had hosten with them. But I never really liked the Snapfish solution anyway, so I've gone ahead and added a new photos page that contains photo management software that is run by Terrapin Tables itself.

The main advantage to hosting the pics on this site is that I don't require any stupid logins to view pictures. While you do need an accout to add albums, they're viewable by anyone who cares to browse them. If you'd like an account for the photos section, you can register here, or just email me and I'll set you up with an account (accounts for photos are kept separate from the accounts we have in this section to post new entries).

Anywho, feel free to get yourselves accounts and add more pictures if you have them. It'd be nice to have one site with all of our stuff on it, instead of some at Kodak, some at ofoto... etc.

Good thing none of us were smart/rich

According to this article, it certainly would suck to be going to Yale now. Now this is certainly something that would justify a student riot.

Rant - Joe Morgan Can Eat My Poo

Joe Morgan is whining and screaming, apparently: the Astros have zero black/African American players on their team. Seems like a big deal - seems racist. But, after a few paragraphs of "this hasn't been seen since the Fifties" even the Yahoo story admits blacks are "just about" 9 percent of MLB players. "Just about" means less than.

So, one in every eight and a half players is black. None of the Astros 40 men are black. Quick, Roy, is this really as statistically improbable as Morgan is making it out to be? I don't think so. And, as only 6 percent of D-1 college balplayers are black, it's going to be a lot more common.

In the article, Selig pays a lot of lip service to "we have to try harder to find black athletes." Why? So what? Who cares if a player is black, white, latin, asian, etc.? Joe Morgan can kiss my ass. Houston was the first team that set up a scouting program in South America, right? - rather than priasing the move to open the league to Hispanic dudes, they're letting Joe Morgan stir up "controversy." You want to end racism? Tell sensationalists to shut the hell up, and we'll be a lot closer. "Diversity" is retarded in merit-based programs: sports, colleges, etc. I agree with ChiSox GM Williams - the only black MLB GM, btw - who says, in the FA, "It just happened that way. I could care less what the makeup of the club is as long as it works as a whole." Exactly.

What I've been doing

I haven't posted in a while because aside from my dissertation and other projects I've been preparing job applications. Here are the 9 places I'm applying to (with more to come):

University of Hawaii
Georgia State University
University of California, Davis
University of Virginia (sorry guys)
Florida State University
Boston College
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Arizona State University
University of South Florida

I'm also currently pondering Texas and Texas A&M. Right now, Arizona State looks like the best place, but I have little to no chance of getting it. Your thoughts?

Texas Proposition 2

Maybe I heard about this before and forgot about it, but next month, among other things, Texans will vote on Proposition 2, "The constitutional amendment providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Here's an interesting quote on it from Steve's Soapbox, whoever Steve is, "It remains a terrific irony that, even as gay Texas citizens who want to marry cannot, 'straight' Texans who can marry file some 120,000 divorce actions a year. And yet voters are told that the way to 'protect' marriage is to pass a constitutional amendment attacking gay Texans."

Oh well, at least this gives me a chance to be politically active and go vote on it, and pretend that my vote makes a difference down here in Bushland (Bushland reference about halfway down the page).

Beer . . .

. . . is for the way you look at me. Beer is for the only one I see. Beer is very, very extra-ordinary, Beer is even more than anyone that you adore can.

You give me five hundred dollars, I give you the negatives, and no one has to know you were:

It is late in the work day, I just figured out someone has the heat on, it's like 80 god damn degrees in my office, all of which I attribute to the fact that I found this amusing.

Big Brother

Just by supplying some basic information to this website, you can find out quite a bit of information. Property values, for example. Or an employment history. For example, I am listed as the following:
John Albers at World Adult Kickball Association
Newsletter Co-Editor - John Albers

Which would be a great job, especially if it paid.

Big Game

Thursday night, 7:45 pm - Maryland hosts #3 Virginia Tech. But more importantly, tailgating starts at 4 pm. And we're going to need all the beer we can, since there is a chance we get destroyed. Check out the Tailgating page, click on the VT game and pick something to bring. Parking will be crap, so make sure you read the parking release at the top.

Random:
- Vegas has the line at VT -10.5. Want to know entirely too much about this game? Check out the matchup report.
- Breakfast with Fridge is on Wednesday this week.
- There is an organized black out for the game. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but here is your PSA on it.
- On another note, Midnight Madness was last week. Mike Jones (Who?) scored 19 points in the scrimmage. We will also assume that Garrison played soft.

Let me know if you have any questions. See you Thursday!

DC's zero-tolerance on DUIs

So it turns out that in DC, cops can arrest you for driving with any amout of alcohol in your system (even a 21+ year old with 0.01 BAC). Turns out it's been like this, but it's not commonly known. There's an article in the Washington Post about a woman who got arrested after having one glass of wine.

Turns out that if it's your first offence, you can get the charges dropped if you take a 24-hour course. And the article mentions some lawyers successfully get people off if they have low BACs, but nevertheless, the arrests are still made (at a rate of over one a day). Weird.

Note: This DC Council has amended the zero tolerance law.

How did you boys not invent this?

As we all know, in Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche introduced the concept of the Uber-mensch, or superman: a paragon of human will, spirit, and intellect.

What you may not be as familiar with is Nietzsche’s concept of the Uber Tap.

The device is the culmination of beer’s long historical journey toward perfection, the acme of booze-dispensing technology, and, of course, what the Ubermensch uses at all his raging keggers...

Courtesy of Daily Candy.

Guatemala Medical Mission Trip

Well, Irma and I just got back from a medical mission trip to Guatemala, and I've just gotten the photos up on my website. Since Irma's a nurse, she actually did a lot of good, circulating and scrubbing in. I basically washed and sterilized instruments, did odd jobs, and helped cook and clean up after breakfast. So, in typical TT format, here's the HL/LL list.

Highlights:
-Helping as many people as we did. The OB/GYN doctor did 17 operations, the general surgeon probably did 1 1/2 to 2 times as many, and a family practice doctor went around to rural clinics every day helping people.
-Finding a practical use for my ability to speak Spanish, and actually having most of it come back to me to near fluency.
-The skill of our bus driver who was able to maneuver through the tight streets of towns, several times with only an inch or two of clearance.
-The beauty of the country side - Guatemala is a really beautiful country.
-Dinner. We had a local lady cater it every night, and it was awesome.
-Lunch in Antigua - possibly the best meal I've ever had in a restaurant.
-Gallo beer - it was pretty good.
-The market in Chichicastenango was pretty cool. Full of Mayans going about their normal lives, and not as influenced by tourism as the market in Antigua.
-I got to scrub in on 3 operations, which is something I'd never get to do here in the states.
-Not having to pay for any meals in Antigua because everybody kept treating me once they found out it was my birthday. And I got a birthday cake the last night there.

Lowlights:
-Hurricane Stan - it didn't hit us directly, but it made it rain the entire trip, and caused all those mudslides, which made us lose power in the hospital off and on. On top of that, Thursday night, the roads were still blocked and we weren't sure if we were going to get out on time, and when we did get out, it was slow going waiting for the road crews to clear the fresh mud slides. Not to mention all the destruction the mudslides and flooding caused to the local communities.
-Poverty - just plain sucks.
-Lazy people. Honestly, why go on this type of trip if you're just going to sit around on your ass the whole time?
-Having one lady follow us around in the market for half an hour trying to sell us a blanket. We never did buy it.
-Every other beer besides Gallo.
-Getting sick one night along with 3 other people, probably from food poisoning.
-Not really getting my fluency back in Spanish until the day we left.

Retired UMD Professor Wins Nobel Prize

Thomas Schelling, formerly a professor at both Harvard and Maryland, was just awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics for his lifelong work in game theory. I was lucky enough to have Dr. Schelling, and two of his students as professors while at Maryland, and I learned an awful lot. He's about 5'4", maybe 125 pounds, and looks like he's about 150 years old, but he was funny and engaging and never once made us feel like we weren't intelligent enough to carry his briefcase, which was absolutely the case. Someone described him as just thinking different than everyone else, and he most certainly earned this award. Congratulations Dr. Schelling!

Drinky drinky

Since I have little to do out here on the left side, I am taking to drinking. I know this startles all of you. Well, at least I'm getting creative. Here are some recent drink reviews:

Wild Turkey and Canada Dry: Whiskey-and-ginger ale is a classic; Maker's Mark is the best for this. Many of you long-time McCreary fans may have noticed my predeliction for Turkey, however, and as it's a lot cheaper than Maker's, that's what I drink. So, Turkey and ginger is tasty, but after one gets boring. No complexity. Three stars.

Captain Morgan's and Pepsi w/ Lime: This was more or less a shot in the dark - I knew it couldn't be too bad - but, hold on Sampson, this shiznitobam is the shit! Very tasty. More than an improvement on an old standby. 4 Screeching Weasles up.

Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio - Because I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot. Boring, but reasonably cheap. It's possible that the phoenetics of "Ecco Domani" will impress chicks, so it will stay on the shelf for a while - it sounds sophisticated, even if it's $6 a bottle, so it gets a silver star of the 3rd order.

Aquinas Chardonnay, Napa Valley, 2002 - the store had 2003 also, but I'm not falling for that shit. I haven't opened it, but Thomas Aquinas was a Catholic philosopher from the 1200s. May or may not have any bearing on the wine, but sacremental wine is allegedly the blood of Jesus or something, so in case that Jesus shit is for real, I'm going to rate this wine a 42 on the Anderson scale. Even though I haven't opened it.

Yellowtail Shiraz - Unlike the other wines on this list, I had this before moving out west...the others were on sale (if you are an Albertson's market preferred customer, which I became). Decent, but all shiraz (or, sirah, if you're a namby pamby bitchboy) is pretty much the same, good but not great, unless it blows. This does not blow. So, it gets a nine ampersand rating: &&&&&&&&&

Captain's and Mountain Dew Pitch Black II - There's a new Dew in town. There needs to be a new sherriff in town as well, to reign in this new Dew, because it's here to steal the women and rape the horses. It's regular Pitch Black but with Extra Sour Grape somehow spilled in it. On it's own, it kinda sucks. With Cap, it makes Gorilla Vomit seem like a viable alternative to water, oxygen, and heterosexuality. Avoid! 3 tildes on a 100-tilde scale. ~~~ By the way, it's what I'm drinking now. Because I suck.

Gordon Biersch Blonde Bock - Had a fancy package, was kinda expensive, is alright. I like a good beer - I think I appreciate quality beers more than most of you drunks - but this is one of those "if it's not good at least it's complex" beers like Dogfish Head Raisin D'Etre and anything at DuClaw. It's okay, but not worth $8 for 6. 1 steaming pile of [censored]: ~x

This restaurant called Hola's - homemade Sangria and their like 18 kinds of maragaritas. The sangria is tasty, but maybe weak (I think one is equiv of a glass of wine and a shot of Schnapps). Chicks dig it, though, and say it's strong, for what that's worth. The margaritas, however, are excellent..not too tequila-y but still obviously potent, and some of their house blends (I reccommend the Cadillac) are top-fucking-notch. Plus, the food makes other Mexican joints taste like clumpy cat litter. Too bad I can't afford the chicks that hang out there (I don't know what a duvet is or, specifically, how it differs from an afghan). Rating: check plus.

Some brewery in Burlingame, CA - I got shitfaced so the name escapes me. All I remember, the Stout was too sweet and the Porter was the same as the Stout. Still, I can't remember the name of the place so I'm sure I had fun. Score: 75% (getting laid accounts for the other 25%, and I certainly did not get laid).

Brickhouse cafe: did not serve alcohol. Fuck you, Brickhouse.

During-drink entertainment - I have not gone out alone, because I am not that pathetic. Yet. I can say with certainty, however, that Arrested Develpoment is second only to Strangers With Candy in terms of drinky-time entertainment (I love me the BitTorrent, and I love Ricky for the SWC dvds). Rome, while a good show, is hard to focus on when you are drinking alone in a dark apartment, wearing boxers and a Maryland hoodie, trying to hold the poo that wants to come out because I can't remember right now where I put the toilet paper. That was the worst sandwich I ever ate Lois.

So what have you guys discovered? Anyone put Sloe Gin in something new yet? Possibly, SoCo and goat's milk? Captain and Metamucil? Anyone? Beuller?

The saga continues...

So as everyone probably knows, my car got hit earlier this year. It was on July 4th, but due to various reasons (the other person lying, a trip to Hawaii, getting engine work done), the repairs didn't start until September. Well, the car's still getting fixed (well, it was fixed, but then they broke stuff putting it back together). So it's still in the shop, and I'm switching out cars with Enterprise for other completely random reasons. So here's the list of cars I've driven in the last month and a half (for those that care, the original estimate was 9 days):

	My 2002 Jetta, which I finally took to the shop.
	The Neon. Good fuel economy, but a shitty ride. I returned it before going to Chicago in hopes that my Jetta would be done when I got back. Clearly, I underestimated everyone.
	This F250 was fucking huge. Ricky did could not afford to drive this to a train station and then to College Park for tailgating, as it would've used like $50 in gas. So it was returned last week.
	I actually like this car, despite it lacking the "I can run over pedestrians and they'll be all right" feature. Apparently someone else likes it too, seeing as Enterprise has already sold this car before they rented it to me. So, I'm off to return it now.
	Lord knows what I'll get today. I'm hoping some sort of Segway.

More beer technology . . .

that we could have thought of. Honestly, will we see anal razors in our lifetime?

Are you a hippy?

I found this test on Fark. I thought it would be interesting to see how we all turned out.

Here are my results:

Score: -11

I am the establishment,
Get off my lawn you damn hippies!

Take the "Are you a Hippie?" Test

A good weekend for the Terps

Terps beat the #19 team in the nation. Nick Novak kicks a game-winner for the Redskins. Hell, even Terence Morris was signed.

Oh, and the terps wore black jerseys aka porn for John. Fortunately the game was only about 4 hours long. Had it lasted much longer, it would have been time for me to seek medical attention.