July 29, 2005
"well-socialized" my ass
This kid should have an appointment with the gas chamber. I'm pretty sure when I was 13 I understood when I 'kissed 'em up side the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat..' that person would die.
Why radio sucks
So Sony/BMG finally got caught for 'payola' -- bribing DJs and radio management to play their artist's songs. Sony only has to pay $10 million, but hey, maybe they'll cut it back a little and we can stop having so much J-Lo on the airwaves. Well, I don't listen to J-Lo of course, but you know, I'm thinking of the little people.
July 28, 2005
Shut Up Dummy!
So I make somewhere in the neighborhood of Fred Sanford/Al Bundy money. I will now light myself on fire.
"Me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be is out there, being what we don't want to be 40 hours a week for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!" --Al Bundy to a female customer on Married, with Children
July 27, 2005
Sloe Nedney
Danger Chad's Liver! Liver?
Its the most wonderful time of the year....
So its almost that time again. Time to spend Saturdays drinking in parking lots and listening to Paige berate people.
With that in mind, this event was brought to my attention. I may not be in town for it -- but if I am, I am definitely going. Maybe they will let us set up and stay there until the Navy game.
July 26, 2005
Amusing
"Types of Stories My Mother Tells"
No no no no no!
Now I know how John felt when Halle got married. I'm just devastated.
July 25, 2005
Blood Drive
The Annual 98 Rock Blood Drive is here again. I try and make it every year, with a fairly high success rate. Sometimes they give away tickets to stuff. I will try and make it at some point, though I am not sure when. And the best part is, afterwards, you become a cheap date.
July 22, 2005
Sexcellency in Gourmet Stuff Award
If you could somehow infuse this with, I don't know, vodka, I believe John could die a happy man.
July 20, 2005
Hooray Beer!
I'll take 10. As soon as they make more.
July 19, 2005
That is TERRIBLE! What's wrong with THAT?!!
Why did Stephen A. Smith get his own show?
July 18, 2005
This team stinks
Got into a fantasy football league with some buddies from home and had the draft yesterday. There are 12 teams, and the lineup is 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 RB/WR flex, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 DEF, 6 bench. The scoring is a bit different from what we play, the key being no points for completions or incompletions and no points for receptions. Anywho, rain delay had the number 1 pick and took Manning (peyton, not eli) and then I took Tomlinson...3 hours later, here's my team.
QB - Bulger, Plummer, Griese
RB - Tomlinson, Westbrook, Duckett, Stephen Davis, Davenport (no one got the "dumpoff pass" joke)
WR - Roy Williams, Michael Clayton, Rod Smith (of course), Toomer, Peerless Price (for you John)
TE - Wiggins
K - Vanderjagt
DEF - Baltimore
I wasn't entirely happy with how I did, having to guess who people would take as it snaked away from me since it was such a long time before it came back. Anyway, other highlights included some guy from Baltimore who had never played before pre-ranking his players since he couldn't make it. He got Matt Stover in the 4th round. Interesting side note: I believe Lamont went in the 4th round. I yelled out Lamont for heisman! but of course nobody got it.
Your thoughts?
July 17, 2005
July 16, 2005
Spoiler Alert
Well, this year's No Limit WSOP event has wrapped up, here's the story. If you want to wait for the ESPN coverage do so, but here's the story anyway.
A least a dude from nearby Severn represented 'til the end. Go Anne Arundel Co.
I want $7.5M for playing poker.
If I had $10 Million, This is What I'd Get
July 15, 2005
Why didn't we think of this?
I bet if we had all sat around trying to think up of good bar-related ideas, we could've thought of this: a faster-pouring tap that leaves little head. Kudos to you and your weird portrait, Mr. Younkle.
July 14, 2005
Magically Retarded
Because I am a neurotic moron, when I eat lucky charms, I eat all the little cheerio pieces first so that I am left with only the multi-colored marshmallows. I have often thought that they should make a cereal that is nothing but the marshmallows. I have been assured that this is probably a lousy idea. It probably equates to diabetes in a box or something. Anyway, someone is living the dream. The questions are somewhat amusing.
Washington Graffiti
Brought to my attention my Mr. Shafer, a prominent DC graffiti artist has been arrested. Considering his tools are stencils and spray paint, his work seems fairly impressive. 
July 13, 2005
I need to buy an umbrella
Just thought I'd update everyone on the forecast that weather.com is reporting. Wonderfully depressing.
End of the Road
Artscape is coming up in Baltimore again. Among the performers are Boyz II Men and Biz Markie.
July 12, 2005
A most interesting trip
I'm back from the Netherlands and ready to dish out the highlights. Some background first. I was invited to present some work at the annual meeting of the Psychometric Society, which this year was held in Tilburg, The Netherlands. So Paige and I flew to Amsterdam, spent a day there and then proceeded to Tilburg. At the conclusion of the conference, we headed back to Amsterdam for one last night before flying home. it felt like we were in a saturday night live skit for a week.
Highlights (and Lowlights)
- the dutch maritime museum in the amsterdam
- not screwing up my presentation
- the train system. there's is great, amtrak's sucks
- bikes that fold up
- repeatedly saying (to no one in particular) "yo goldmember! i don't speak freaky-deaky dutch!"
- watching a breakdance team perform
- hearing beyonce and the beyonce's remixed with nirvana. did you know that "lose my breath" and "smells like teen spirit" actually sound great when played over one another?
- seeing one of the girls in the red light district and thinking she was a manequin until she moved.
- the sun being out until 10:30 at night
- the idiot woman behind us on flight to amsterdam. yes lady, we can see that we're flying at an altitude at 33,000 feet. and yes we know you only thought Guess Who (one of the in flight movies) was funny because you're tired. we're tired too, and would like to sleep, so how about shutting the hell up?
- the rain on sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday
- the argentinian steak in tilburg. actually the steak was good. the sickness in the middle of the night was like montezuma's revenge.
- capri pants...on men
- not going into any coffee shops
- dam square being essentially a mix of times square and the boardwalk on a beach. just so disappointing
- the tourist guide book that recommended taking tram route 20 in amsterdam. there is no tram route 20.
- being stopped for a random security check in amsterdam airport on the way home. the conversation with the guy who checked our bags went something like this:
HIM: Are you traveling together
Paige: (nodding) Yes
Me: Uh huh
HIM: Are you married?
Paige: No
Me: No
HIM: Why not?
Paige: (pointing to me) Ask him.
Me: (just staring)
Yeah, good times! And then the guy proceeded to tell us R. Kelly was his cousin.
- Amsterdam security noticing a black line on Paige's passport, which had to be verified by a supervisor, then called in to the supervisor's supervisor, and then run through the computer. Of course, they eventually let us through. Upon arriving in Newark, they noticed it and detained her for a while and did the same runaround, saying they'd been expecting her and eagerly anticipating seeing her passport.
- going from a king size bed in the hotel in amsterdam to a bed smaller than the ones they issue you in college in the "student housing" at the conference. oh, and the communal showers were good times too. let me just tell you how happy paige was.
- not having hot water one day. as our new friend olav says "that's holland!"
- not catching any soccer. the world youth championships were in tilburg the week before we were there. woulda been great!
- finally figuring out a way to order a beer that doesn't come with lemon
- going to a cuban restaurant basically for rum
- australian ice cream. just top notch.
All told a nice trip, got to see some strange things but by the end i was ready to come home.
July 11, 2005
WAKA: Old and Busted
Yeah, that's three today. So what, the site was freakin' empty yesterday.
Nerd Game
To counter the rant below, here's a link that's pretty cool, even if it is somewhat nerdy and completely devoid of alcohol: it's the race for U.S. Patent #1!
Cheerio, Old Chum
Apparently, a bunch of sappy crybaby Americans put up a site to announce their sympathy and compassion for London after the recent attacks - characterizing themselves as Londoners and London as "hurt." To which every Londoner with the interweb has apparently replied, "Sod off, bollocks to you, you ain't us and we got this."
Which is good. Things are shitty here because it's these types of goofball Americans that feel a need to complain/talk/whine/babber/mouth-diarrhea about anything at all always are, and every nonsense opinion - Creationism, misguided troop-supporting, bilingual education, increased federal power, tighy whities - is given credence. These are the Americans With Nothing To Do, and they are allowed, too often, to speak for everyone. In this country, no one tells them to shut the hell up. Hopefully, other nations won't tolerate this nonsense, it'll become a contagion, and our kids can grow up getting judged for their actions and efforts in a country the speaks English and respects intelligence, instead of a quota-based, faith-based, Spanish-speaking supernation called "Amexico 4000, brought to you by the love of the Christ." Sponsored by Pepsi and your local State Farm agent.
So, thankfully, not only have a bunch of Brits rejected the unsolicited sympathies of some empty Americans, but they've sone it in style. Dig it. The "official" blog is always updating, but highlights of the Brit reaction are found here.
Sorry about the rant.
Steve Bartman
It seems as though an ESPN reporter tracked down Bartman. This may be a hoax for all I know, but it is an interesting read. For the uninitiated, Bartman is the Cubs fan who interfered with a foul ball in the 2003 NLCS.
July 06, 2005
Brought to my attention by Mr. Tony
It's no bear on a trampoline, but perhaps there should have been a trampoline.
