Terrapin Tables

Hanover

Thanks to Nate for having us up to PA for the weekend. There was good poker, depending on where you sat, good Madden, depending on where you sat, and marginal to incredibly poor golf, depending on my involvement. I put some photos in a Snapfish album with the TTables account...but here's the best reason to travel up to Nate's:

Clicky Clicky for Full-Size Baby Goodness

So, thanks Nate. Word.

Daddy

It's Daddy's birthday, the weekend is here, and he highly recommends that you have a can of beer. Or 10.

Wanna feel old?

This game's kind of fun - you guess if a celebrity is older or younger than you. But the bad part is I've realized that celeb-whore Jessica Simpson is younger than me, along with Pink and Heath Ledger. These people look like real adults, and I'm older than them? Weeeird.

Wellity, wellity, wellity...

Thanks to the good neighbors of Bay City I have broadband in my room...gotta love unprotected wireless accounts. Props to my sponsors at NetGear...I couldn't do it without you. Anyways...I'm back online, fast, for free. Score.

Also, I'm about done with the move. Moving SUCKS. And I dodn't even find anything of interest in my old room. Usually I'm good for some stashed cash, the odd condom wrapper from a brand I don't buy, a dimebag, old food, etc. This time: nothing.

Winslow Accident on Film!!

I found your light saber

Slightly unsafe for work I think.

Obvious Joke of the Day

Serial killing or natural causes.

Local Bar Fire

You guys lost the Irish Pizza Pub, and now I've lost the Parkway Grill. Me and some of the guys from work would go grab beer and play NTN trivia there. Now we've got to find a temporary replacement bar until Parkway gets rebuilt.

The L in KML

Lopez, from 98 Rock's KML morning show passed away Sunday.

Hey, Kickball Pitchers (redux):

Don't throw like a girl, after all.

Moving complete! (new hotness)

Okay, if you're seeing this, then that means you're viewing TT.com on its new server. You shouldn't notice anything different about this change (other than the fact that this site won't go down for an entire weekend anymore), but there's a good chance I screwed something up, so just shoot me an email if you find anything that's broken or out of place. Thanks!

F-U DirecTV

It's going to cost $100 more this year to get Sunday Ticket in High-def. Assholes.

Wristbands

Support a cause. Buy a wristband!

Hey, Kickball Pitchers:

It's time to start throwing like a girl.

Pillow Fight

Extremely soft-core porn for Rick.

In all seriousness...

I talk a lot of shit on this site, we all do, that's largely what it's for, but sometimes you have to sit back, read something like this, and want to mount an armed insurrection. This is the kind of crap that lends credence to every conspiracy theory, every minority agenda, every crackpot with an evil theory. Nobody can ever say "the government wouldn't/can't/doesn't do that" because they clearly fucking do.

Now everybody go back to laughing at the silly liberals. They're so funny, they want to help the poor people. Silly liberals.

Chappelle's Show

Doesn't seem crazy. Or high.

d00d wTf??//??

wuz the site PWN3d or wut th3r3 wuz lyk no TTables for tWo DaYz wtf, some n00b aDmIn (that's you Nelson).

So, what happened? This is the first I could get on the site for like two days, and some TTables email I sent were bounced back. Did Rick switch domain hosting to GoDaddy because the chick has expensive boobs?

No drinking at kickball?

Okay, so I still get the kickball e-mails. I've just been too lazy to opt out. Usually, I just delete them without reading them, but the subject of this latest one caught my eye - "NO Drinking." What's the point of playing kickball if there's no drinking. That's even worse than playing softball without drinking. And then the follow up e-mail. No smoking, either? What's that all about?

Anyway, with everyone living in different places, now, do any of you still even play kickball?

Found porn

Not porn really, but these "Geek Fantasies" videos are funny.

Monty Python (for me)
Transformers (for Chris)
Calculator (for Fatboy)
Magic Missle (who plays D&D?)
Star Wars (for most of us)

Easily Amused

Ron Mexico name generator.

Sincerely,

David Lee Yemen

"Confidentially . . .

. . . I am crazy and I will f*ckin' kill you." Here's hoping he either isn't crazy, or gets well soon. Martin Lawrence came back from crazy. Unfortunately.

Baby names

Since we were talking about names earlier, it reminded me of an artile I just read in The Atlantic concerning baby names and their relation to their parents' income and education. Here are the white babies' names associated with the highest and lowest levels of education in their mothers (average years of education in parentheses).

Note the stripper names for girls, and "Ricky" rocking the #1 spot for boys.

LeBron

I guess be the 4th highest paid athlete in the world wasn't enough....

What could go wrong? In other news, I'm hiring Chris M. to be my financial advisor, cause you know, we be boys, yo

The Orioles are desperate

If you are a student, if you wear orange, if you GO TO WENDY"S!!! (grrr), the Orioles will give you a cheap/free seat. Next week's promotion: Know your first name and get a $5 seat!

Bigger Nerds than Rick

Wow. Now there is a home-made Star Wars movie available for download. It seems pretty high-end when you are watching the trailer - that is, until you tune out the stolen John Williams' score and recycled SFX and actually pay attention to the film they made. I mean, kudos to them for burning hundreds of hours and tens of dollars on this movie, but I can't imagine watching it without wanting to kick these guys' asses. Nerds.

Pat O'Brien soundboard

I found this looking for some stuff to put in the kickball newsletter. Anyway, some of the language is, um, less than appropriate for work, but it doesn't matter because I'm so F-ing into you!

Being Jesus is tough

So a West Virginia man is having trouble getting a driver's license because he's using his non-legal name: Jesus Christ.

Looks like he has the ol' JC on his passport and his old driver's license, but wasn't allowed to officially change his name because it could offend others. But it's neat that you can get 'Jesus Christ' on your friggin' passport without an official name change.

Vroom

Kellen Winslow's next motorcycle

Betrothed

Despite rain and a broken arm by the original Blowfeld, and with the help of a masterful group of henchmen, I managed to pull off what I consider to be the con of the century: convincing Katie to marry me. Yesterday, on the Chapel Field, under a red canopy, with a new California quarter waiting in case she needed help making the decision, I asked, and Katie said yes. Roy, as the new Blowfeld, John, Rick, Pat, and Paige set everything up, and Matt and Lori showed up soon after to take pictures. And of course, what do you do to celebrate such an event? We tailgated in Lot 1 before going to see the Spring Football Game. All in all, things went amazingly well, and I owe Blowfeld and the Henchmen (which would be a great name for a band) a very large thank you.

Florida

We had a wonderful time, courtesy of Channel 9 and Tunde. Lots of golf, lots of booze - we stuck out like a sore thumb. Let's see...we are not good at golf, we snuck sandwiches and Natural Light onto the golf course (it was cheaper), we ran up large pool bar tabs, and we were with the only black guy in sight. Anyhow - here are the pictures. It is a quick, crappy photoshopping job, but if anyone actually wants any of these things in their full, not chopped form, email me.