Terrapin Tables

Bitter...

I was at the game last night, so I didn't get a lot of stats -- but I seem to remember that Garrison had 4 fouls and 1-freaking-point.

So, is there a "shorter" 6'8" player in the country?

I HATE to badmouth somebody on a Maryland team - but seriously -- by your junior year you should have figured out how to go TO the rim instead of fading away on everything. If you are a 80+% freethrow shooter, you may want to create contact and get to the line - and perhaps get the opposing team's bigs in some foul trouble (like... oh... i don't know.... SEAN MAY!!).

He has the talent to be so much better...

2005 Mustache Challenge

Over beers last evening, Mike, Rick, Roy & I agreed to try and have a mustache by Friday. I'm not sure there is a particularly good reason why, but you too can participate in the inaugural challenge. I am sure there will be photos, perhaps to be posted on this very site somewhere, so that should be fun. And if you are wondering what some of us (me) look like in a mustache, well the answer is "ridiculous." You can find evidence of this in the 80's party portion of the photo album. Anyway, stay tuned.

More Random Crap

Not that De La Soul is my favorite, but you can't beat the price.

Martin Scorsese films being shown at the AFI theatre in Silver Spring for the next month or so.

Simpsons

So this last Sunday, while I was getting completely housed, The Simpsons revealed that Patty is gay. It was supposed to be a big deal (we even discussed it), but in the end, it wasn't much a surprise. But it's funny that they put up a frickin' warning before the show...

(from the article):
The episode was preceded by a warning that because the show contained discussion of same-sex marriage, "parental discretion" was advised.

What the hell?

Looney Tunes. Read the words, picture Wascally Wabbits, ducks that give you the news and the weather, down-under devils, Meep-meeps and that big, slow sheepdog that always came out on top. Now, just to split Nate's heart in two, realize that this is what will soon become of your favorites:

I mean, what the hell. Are the Looney Tunes characters drinking Code Red now? That portable yogurt-stick-stuff got them all inline skating and DanceDanceRevolutioning? Are they mad at the ideas of increased personal fredoms supported by the blue states?

Since this website is clearly one of Hollywood's most important sources of public trends and audience reaction, hey Warner Bros.: this shit sucks I hope you die and I never really liked you anyway.

I do not belong in certain places...

So Judy and I were up in NYC for the past few days, where we had a great time, because there's about a billion things to do up there. Random highlights:

• Watching someone get proposed to on the ice rink at Rockefeller Center (the father of the bride-to-be asked me directions on how to get there, so Judy and I knew about it before it happened - but neither of us correctly guessed which couple it was)
• Having a chicky invite Judy and I to be in the audience for MTV's TRL for a live taping. Despite me failing to provide ID showing I was between 16-24, she still let us in. I pretended to be "hip" as people with far more energy yelled like schoolgirls (I guess they were schoolgirls) at pseudo-celebrities like Shia LaBeouf, who I never heard of before. I'm sure I will looked thrilled when I watch the tape my sister made.
• The Broadway show, Spamalot, was actually very good. I laughed at every scene, which is rare for me for a movie, let alone an actual show. I recommend to anyone who's not a fan of real Broadway shows with any sort of actual meaning.
• My second TV appearance at the Jane Pauley show. That's right... Jane Pauley. We were graced by the "fashion expert"... uh, I don't her name, but she hosts a show on the Style network that involves her telling people they don't know how to dress, and that they are bad people unless they know how to extend their body line with appropriate color-matching (or some shit). I learned things like how to propery fit a bra. Good times. At least I got some good parting gifts: 4 sets of matching bras and panties, along with a women's watch. Yeah. Fun. Good thing the watch sells for several hundred dollars on eBay. Score.

My Head

I don't know what to do with my head, so I'm leaving it up to you guys. Basically, I'm pretty apathetic, but I do enjoy the below-the-ears look. I have been, however, entertaining the idea of cutting it. Also, I've been debating whether or not to go all-out dreadlock style on my melon. Since it takes a whole day to do it, and you can't "un-do" dreads, I am reticent to dive right in. So...

I dunno

So what are we supposed to think about the riots after Duke games? Is there a solution? Should there be a designated area, like frat row? Anyone found gathering elsewhere would be subject to some kind of prosecution, but Fraternity Row would be alright? It seems obvious that destruction of property should not be stood for. I also am not enamored with the idea of students being subjected to methods that killed a woman in Boston after the Sox won the world series. Maybe the entire topic has been beat to death, I dunno.

I Heart the FARK

Now, for at least 24 glorious hours, everyone in Boston will know what we know: Duke sucks it, hard, deep, and really slobbery. See what the FARKers think about it.

VD Day. Or something

Happy Valentine's Day. Now you can actually purchase the instrument of your own death as a quasi-sexist Valentine's Day present for your lady friend. Neat

3 in a row...

If the Dook/UNC game from Wednesday was an "Instant Classic", I expect to see this game on ESPN Classic in upwards of 10 minutes...
Anyway, I was fortunate enough to be there. Yes, I know you all hate me. The place was absolutely ridiculous. Big ups to the band. They were there for Cold Pizza yesterday, Gameday this morning, and for the 9 pm game. Didn't miss a beat (da-dum-bump).

Seen and heard at Comcast tonight - I have no idea what was shown on TV:
- Walt Williams
- Tahj Holden
- Byron Mouton (sitting with Tahj Holden)
- Scott Van Pelt
- Steve Buschotti (Ravens owner) sitting with Brian Billick, sitting next to Cal Ripken Jr.
- Al Koken from 980
- Red Auerbach
- Derrick Lewis, former Terp
- Lamont Jordan. I heard he was up for Heisman
- I think I saw Wilbon
- The two dudes with signs prompting Rock n Roll Pt 2, very well coordinated. Held up the signs saying "duh-duh-duhhhh" and so on...
- Three guys with signs that said "WHO" "MIKE" "JONES"
- A giant, I mean GIANT sign with one side having this picture, the other with a picture of Sheldon Williams' head.
- At the start of one possesion, on the Jumbotron, they showed Redick who was inbouding the ball. Meanwhile, perfectly placed into the shot was a big screencaptured picture of him picking his nose on the bench. It was like it was planned.
- Howie Schwab from ESPN sitting next to Dick Vitale during the game - he is their stat/trivia guru.
- Lots of "Not our Rival" signs
- Sign behind the basket that said "We own Your House too"
- Student wall given posters to form a giant M. Pretty cool.
- Big sign "We are Maryland, You Can't Beat US"
- Lots and lots of old people cheering
- Duke sucking...

That is all. I am sad I couldn't spend the game with you all (seriously, ask Chad, I debated whether to go to this game or not), but hopefully we all enjoyed the game. And as always - GO TERPS!

This is what happens when I drink...

Ok, so I don't remember making this.... I woke up this morning and it was on my computer screen. I felt compelled to put it up after watching the piece they just did on him on College Gameday. He writes poetry. Holy god in hell - could he BE ANY GAYER??!?!?!?

JJ's Valentines Day Special
Roses are red
Violets are blue
And if you have a dick
I will blow you

Cold Pizza

Last night at 9 my buddy Zach called me to tell me he just got into town because cold pizza was at the comcast center in anticipation for the duke game and that i should come by. You know, on Kornheiser this monring, Gary mentioned he was doing cold pizza. I got there at 8 this morning and caught up with Zach. Highlights include

- catching up with an old friend, who i don't get to see as much as i'd like
- sitting with students on camera behind the interview with walt williams
- going behind the scenes, seeing how the magic happens
- hearing stories about Woody Paige and his, uh, propensity to acquire lady friends
- watching them interview Gary and Mike Grinnon with the production crew
- seeing zach interview the women's coach live on national tv
- by far the best sign was a large, glossy photo of the kid from last year's ACC championship game
- getting a tour through the underbelly of the comcast center
- getting lumped in with the cold pizza heads and getting 2 free t-shirts, because, ya know, i need more maryland shirts.

speaking of the duke game, anyone up for going to the greene turtle? michael's?

I hate Whitlock

Not only is he bringing up yesterday's news, but he's calling into character a player who is generally a respectable young man, who got caught up in a bad situation and decked a fan who was ON THE COURT CONFRONTING A TEAMMATE. But to answer his question: I would've done the same thing. It's not like he went all Apeshit Artest and sprinted into the stands.

Why didn't we have teachers like this?

The article comes with a pic, but it's not a great one. You can see some of her face, and from what I can see...I likey...

Now that's commitment

Roy,
How many Eagles fans made a similar wager?

Super Bowl

OK, so I didn't show up in Laurel last night for the game. This could be why the Eagles lost. But rest assured that it was unsafe to operate a motor vehicle in my inebriated state, so it was a win-win all around. Anyhow, Chad and I got the "bright" idea to jot down notes on the laptop regarding the game. I legitimately don't remember some of these things. Yay Booze!

Stinks for the Eagles. Congrats to the Patriots. Booo covering the spread, and boo not hitting the over. I hate TO, but "big ups" to him and his gutsy play on his 9 for 122 night. What is that, like 21 fantasy points??

If it makes you feel better, Roy, I slept in a Donovan McNabb jersey.

Get Creeped Out

This weekend holds for all of us the chance to witness a truly epic battle between two great teams...that is, the two warring camps of "ladies" and "dudes who look like ladies." So head here, put your sexuality at risk, and slink into self-disgust.

Yoooooooooou have a gambling problem

I apologize for the long post and crappy formatting... Anyway, I plan on (um... for entertainment puposes only) wagering on some of the bets below. Some are funny... I also think that the O/U of 47.5 may be a little too high - and I may go under. I also think the coin toss is a lock for tails... So, anyone see any good bets? I happen to like the Raptors first half points (-8.5) over Fred-Ex's receiving yards.

1) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Patriots+Eagles Points OFF -5.5 (-110) OFF
A Iverson pts+rbs+ast OFF +5.5 (-120) OFF

2) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Eagles Points OFF +73.5 (-115) OFF
76ers Points OFF -73.5 (-115) OFF

3) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Brady Longest Completion OFF -6.5 (-110) OFF
Elton Brand pts+rebs+ast OFF +6.5 (-120) OFF

4) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Patriots+Eagles punts OFF -1.5 (-130) OFF
C Maggette Made Free Throws OFF +1.5 (Even) OFF

5) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
LJ Smith Receiving yds OFF -3.5 (-115) OFF
D Nowitzki pts+rebs OFF +3.5 (-115) OFF

6) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Freddie Mitchell Rec Yards OFF +8.5 (-115) OFF
Raptors 1st half pts OFF -8.5 (-115) OFF

7) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Pats/Eagles longest TD OFF -10.5 (-115) OFF
Chris Bosh pts+rebs OFF +10.5 (-115) OFF

8) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Patriots 1st downs OFF +0.5 (-105) OFF
Paul Pierce Points OFF -0.5 (-125) OFF

9) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Patriots Points OFF +64.5 (-115) OFF
Celtics Points OFF -64.5 (-115) OFF

10) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
D McNabb Pass Attempts OFF +3.5 (-115) OFF
Kevin Garnett Pts+Rebs OFF -3.5 (-115) OFF

11) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Pats/Eagles Largest lead OFF -2.5 (-130) OFF
Gary Payton Points OFF +2.5 (Even) OFF

12) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
T Brady Passing Yards OFF -48.5 (-115) OFF
Lakers+Rockets Points OFF +48.5 (-115) OFF

13) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
C Dillon Rushing Attempts OFF -5.5 (-115) OFF
Yao Ming Points OFF +5.5 (-115) OFF

14) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
D McNabb Completions OFF +6 (-115) OFF
Tracy McGrady Points OFF -6 (-115) OFF

15) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th: PUSH
B Westbrook Rush Attempts OFF +1.5 (-115) OFF
Lakers+Rockets Made 3pt FGs OFF -1.5 (-115) OFF

16) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
D Branch Receptions OFF +0.5 (-115) OFF
Y Ming Made Free Throws made OFF -0.5 (-115) OFF

17) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
B Westbrook Receiving Yds OFF +34.5 (-115) OFF
Lakers Points OFF -34.5 (-115) OFF

18) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Eagles 1st downs OFF -0.5 (-115) OFF
Luther Head Points OFF +0.5 (-115) OFF

19) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
K Faulk Rush+Rec Yards OFF +18 (-115) OFF
Indiana Points OFF -18 (-115) OFF

20) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th: PUSH
Patriots Points OFF -5.5 (-115) OFF
Indiana/Illinois Margin of Vict OFF +5.5 (-115) OFF

21) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
C Dillon Longest rush OFF -7.5 (-130) OFF
Indiana/Illinois Made 3pt FGs OFF +7.5 (Even) OFF

22) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
B Westbrook rush+rec yds OFF -8.5 (-115) OFF
Army/Navy total points OFF +8.5 (-115) OFF

23) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
David Akers Points OFF 0 (Even) OFF
Raymond Felton assists OFF 0 (-130) OFF

24) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Adam Vinatieri Points OFF +0.5 (-115) OFF
Sean May rebounds OFF -0.5 (-115) OFF

25) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Eagles Rushing yds OFF -23.5 (-115) OFF
North Carolina Points OFF +23.5 (-115) OFF

26) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
F Mitchell Longest Recept OFF -4.5 (-130) OFF
NC/FSU Made 3pt FGs OFF +4.5 (Even) OFF

27) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Pat/Eagles Longest TD OFF +20.5 (Even) OFF
Maine Points OFF -20.5 (-130) OFF

28) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Eagles Points OFF +30.5 (Even) OFF
Philadelphia Soul pts OFF -30.5 (-130) OFF

29) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
B Westbrook Rush Attempts OFF -1.5 (-130) OFF
Spinks/Judah completed rounds OFF +1.5 (Even) OFF

30) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Patriots+Eagles Points OFF +21 (-115) OFF
Ernie Els 4th round score OFF -21 (-115) OFF

31) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
C Dillon Rushing Yards OFF -22.5 (-115) OFF
Phil Mickelson 4th round score OFF +22.5 (-115) OFF

32) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
D Givens Receiving yds OFF +15.5 (-115) OFF
Vijay Singh 4th round score OFF -15.5 (-115) OFF

33) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th
Eagles TDs OFF 0 (+120) OFF
Chelsea/Man City goals OFF 0 (-150) OFF

34) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th NO CLUE
LJ Smith Receptions OFF 0 (Even) OFF
Santos/U A de G goals OFF 0 (-130) OFF

35) What will be more of on Sunday Feb 6th NO CLUE
Patriots Points OFF +4 (-115) OFF
Italy/Ireland Points OFF -4 (-115) OFF

You may have a problem...

...if your so hard up for alcohol you have to do this...

Although I'd imagine he'd pass a breathalizer test...

Roy's Super Bowl Post

I've held out long enough. This is gonna be my one (pre-game) super bowl post. I could go on and on about the eagles, but i won't. i could go on and on about my lack of definate plans (HD big screen in columbia? friend's house in h-town? bar in h-town? it's totally up in the air). Instead, I give you this, from my friend BJ who works for former Philly mayor, current state governor, and passionate sports fan Ed Rendell. His email, in its entirety follows:

Well for those of you who have never seen state government from the inside,
let me give you a glimpse. The recent highlights include:

--trying to devise a travel schedule that would have allowed the leader of
PA see both the Steelers and Eagles conference championship games in person
--trying to pass a security clearance to obtain a "Homeland Security Badge"
to watch both playoff games from the sideline (thanks, WATERS) [Editor's note: this refers to the infamous Wawa incident]
--having an intense debate with senior government officials on whether or
not moving our budget address to avoid the championship parade would jinx
the Eagles
--listening to Joe Banner get yelled at because they booked "shitty" hotels
--planning a rally for tomorrow in which the leader of the state is
contemplating having me dress up in an Eagle outfit and run around because
he liked my rendition of the fight song and the "Swoop" at the staff
Christmas party

It has reached a state of complete BEDLAM.

Hey John

Who is this guy? Should we care that he's crazy?

(gross pic warning)

John's new football jersey

Come on man, you gotta get this for FF draft day next year...

Back to important things...

Ok, so whether you believe that Redskins fans are all a bunch of fags with credit cards, or that Ravens fans are all a bunch of in-bred hillbilly yokels -- we can all agree on one thing -- Maryland looked like garbage last night. I think the guys in purple camouflage in the pic from the other thread could have played better defense...

So, the hell with basketball -- its National Signing Day for football. This should be a national holiday. You can keep up with everything on this link.

So - feel free to vent about Terps bball -- or comment on any of the new recruits... Or go to hell... Whatever...

No longer priceless

I can only imagine the thread below lead to the repeal of the great credit card act of 2005.
"Searching to repair the rift between Baltimore and Washington fans, it was a 'can't we all get along' move by Synder." -- Robert W. Selander, President and CEO of Mastercard.

In other news, if you haven't heard about this story from Nashville, check it out. It is one of the most bizarre stories around. I think Roy had Matt Freije in our NCAA player pool last year.

But it doesn't end there - check out the owner flipping out and ending up in the hospital. Just a weird story.

Worst..procedure...ever

I found this to be so very, very disturbing.

"Under Jewish law, a mohel -- someone who performs circumcisions -- draws blood from the circumcision wound. Most mohels do it by hand, but Fischer uses a rare practice where he uses his mouth."

What?