Terrapin Tables

Unpossibly Inbelievable

Yeah, I stole this from FARK, but still...

So a Chinese Harvard professor decides to start ripping his friends and acquaintances off for cash, claiming he needed the money for SARS research. You know how the Asians are about SARS - you've been on campus and seen the surgical masks. Anyway, the research was bogus, but he still raked in $600K. Now, I would have stopped there. Well, I would have gone to Bali or some shit, but I would have stopped the thieving. Instead, this guy also goes for that sweet $50 million promised in the Nigerian Oil Executive email...you know the one...and he got scammed for all his scammed cash.

How do you be smart enough to teach at Harvard, and dumb enough to email off your bank account number? Now I'm glad I didn't go there (I had an adviser that said he could get me in...maybe he just wanted my sweet ass). How can rip your friends off to the tune of a half million?

On an unrelated note, I have promising research into hangover elimination and convincing women you personally are attractive and successful. The problem is my government financing has run out, so if you could mortgage your apartments and send me the check, I will go through with my research. In Bali.

Long Live Hubble

For anyone not following the space industry, NASA's pretty much decided not to send any more manned missions to service the Hubble telescope. They claim it's for astronaut safety, but it's largely economic, as well. Anyway, with no service, the telescopes batteries will run out in 2007, rendering it a useless pile of orbiting junk. Hubble's replacement, the James Webb Space Telescope, won't be launched until 2011. While it's more powerful as a whole, there are a few things that Hubble can do that it won't be able to, like seeing across visible, ultraviolet and infrared wavelengths at the same time.

Many scientists think that it's a waste to just abandon Hubble, so NASA has accepted proposals to service it robotically. A robot developed by UMD's Space Systems Lab was included in two of the 26 proposals submitted to NASA. The director of the lab, Dave Akin, just happened to be the mentor for Chad and my's Gemstone group, plus we spent a lot of time in the lab for the human powered sub class.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention it since it relates to Maryland.

Instant Replay

NFL owners have voted to allow a third challenge to games, provided coaches are successful with the other two. I say, unlimited challenges until you're wrong - then go eff yourself, you get no more. That's football right there.

Note that Indy voted against extending replay...I believe Dungy threw exactly one red flag last season.

Final Four Time

OK, so my bracket is officially in the crapper. I got two of the four teams right, but wow, you can't screw up that much to get there. Anyway, just wanted to toss out the unscientific poll as to who everyone thinks will win. Put your comments below if you have any. Oh, and this is basketball for all those living in a cave the last 2 weekends.

Rack him, he's out

The Tony Kornheiser radio show is over. I know some of you don't care, but I also know there are some of us that care a lot. I guess the reason some of enjoyed him so much is that he is the kind of person we can see ourselves becoming. Even though he is old, bald, has a paunch and is neurotic, somehow Mr. Tony makes it seem like that's not such a bad thing. So now, I guess I will be a little bit crankier every day at work since I won't be getting my medicine, but now at least I'll be able to go to lunch whenever I want because I won't be missing any of the show.

I KNEW IT!

Now we all know why the Refs always make calls in Duke's favor.

Surly Simmons

Oh he's a feisty one. Apparently he was also overheard saying, "I'm so mad, I could crush a rose!!"

Dunking

Check out this 18-year-old in a dunking contest. The worst part is - he's Canadian.

Drugs on the History Channel

Watching the History Channel last night, I saw an interesting documentary about how marijuana became illegal. For a network that caters to a bunch of old, conservative men interested in WWII, it was a very accurate in describing just how inoccuous marijuana is. It went into the propaganda the government put out, how political a lot of the decisions were, mentioned the La Guardia report (take a look at the conclusions), among other things. Anyway, just a whole bunch of information on how harmless pot is and how much propaganda it took to get it illegalized.

There's another one on tonight about opium.

Sex is a funny thing

Some people like it, some don't...some people rock it missionary exclusively, and some people tend to get a bit freaky (stop looking at me like that). Everyone has their own thing, and that's cool, but sometimes, well, "kinky" just becomes utterly stupid. This, for instance, is completely retarded. Honestly. The galleries are inane.

Game On

I think this list has been posted before, but I thought it would be fun to tick off our completed tasks and then, in the true spirit of drinking ourselves into oblivion, try to work towards a perfect score of 40.

Anyway, I'm good on 2, 3, 4, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 24, 30, 33, 36, and since I worship anywhere I please - the beauty of loving life more than fearing a god - I hit 40 every time I bottom one out with you haters.

News Flash

This just in...Chris thinks the Bush administration is a bunch of lying bastards. Shocker, I know. Anyway, I enjoy this video clip because of my deep political tendencies (ha!).

These are fun too.

Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral...

Ok, so an important question came up today at work... and inane as it may be, I need help! Someone said vodka is only water and alcohol but has 100 calories per serving. It has no fat, protein, or carbs. How does it have calories? I took a nutrition course at Maryland but we never covered the nutritional content of vodka.

And yes, people do actually concern themselves with such things at my work... and not just for curiosity's sake (as I do). They really are concerned with such things.

Poverty? War? Famine? Who cares?!? and not in a "necessary evil a la Thomas Malthus" kind of way either. Seriously, who cares when we have calories to count!

Morons

I don't know what else to say about these idiots.

Chad moving to TN

Rhea County, TN's commissioners have voted unanimously to allow homosexuals to be prosecuted under a "crimes against nature" statute. And, with the compasionate declaration of "we need to keep them out of here", the official also wants to ban gays from living in the county as well. This is the same county that prosecuted teachers for claiming "evolution" was a real thing.

I guess their next step will be to pass Prop 243 - Creation of the Office of Slant-Eye removal, and HR4398 - the chasing out of town of those damned coloreds. Fuck Tennessee. Volunteers suck, Titans suck, Country Music Sucks.

Chris Duhon, pt. II

Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon is a little bitch who may not even play in the first round...I guess when you're favored by 34 points you can afford to put Dick Vitale's boytoy on the bench to recover from a bruise. You read it right: a bruise. Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon: Chris Duhon.

Also, Page2 has Redick as the "Hot 3-point shooter" despite 1-8 Sunday, Duke is the ESPN fave in the South, and Shuhshevskee's whining about negative fan reactions is front page news - even though Duke fans are the worst in basketball. Maybe if we won a few more titles the media would be giving us handjobs too. In summation: Duke Sucks.

Lucky Charms

So should John try and get thrown out of a bar again this St. Patrick's Day?

I'm sure....

this has been on the website before but here it is again...TheTruthAboutDuke

pimpjuice

Is there a reason that pimpjuice was not present at the party Saturday?

Beware the Ides of March

Just wanted to remind everyone that today is Rick's birthday. Happy birthday Rick!

Duke Sucks

Wow...just incredible. Great win. Digger Phelps and the boys at ESPN say we might get a 4 seed. Seems a bit much to me, but hey, 5 straight wins will help that. Gilchrist and John's boy Jamar played tremendously. But the real reason I posted was to show you all this picture that Tunde sent me.

If you watched the game you saw this little shit about 300 times. And like every other person wearing a Duke jersey, he was reduced to tears. Like this tool. Oh, and this one too.

On another note, I will try to have the pictures up from the Thug Party tonight if I have time. Depends on how much "celebrating" I do. They are some of the funniest things I have ever seen.

As always GO TERPS!

Chris Duhon

Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon, Chris Duhon Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon. Chris Duhon.

Chris Duhon can suck it.

The Wonder That is the Internet

Michael Jackson's Thriller Music Video done with lego characters. The group of dancing lego people around minute 8 rocks.

Chuck D

Your prayers have been answered, Chuck D has a daily national radio show.
"'Cause my money's spent
On the goddamn rent
Neither party is mine not the
Jackass or the elephant."

Only at Wal-Mart

Stupid store, stupid stuff, stupid corporate search-and-destroy policy, and of course, stupid customers.

Presidential Candidates on Friendster

I don't know what to make of this. Kerry. Edwards.

The Passion & Stupid People

I just read an article on CNN about a bunch of anti-semitic graffiti that got put on a synagogue. People in the article blamed Mel Gibson's new movie for stirring up anti-semitic sentiments. I went and watched the movie this past weekend, and I've talked to a few people that have seen it, and it amazes just how many Christians do feel anti-semitic after watching the movie. Jesus was a Jew. He lived in a Jewish land, full of Jewish people. If someone was going to kill him, of course that person would be Jewish. But all of his followers and supporters were Jewish as well. Gibson even showed several priests disagreeing with Jesus' trial when he was first brought in by Caiaphas's guards, and being kicked out of the trial by the angry mob. How people can be so stupid and miss the point so badly is beyond me. It would be like blaming every christian alive today for the string of Catholic priests that molested boys. Idiocy.

Okay, that's it for my venting for today.

Groening to A.D. at UMD...

...or something. This picture isn't original - I've seen things like it done before - but never have I seen Gary included, and especially not like this. Anyway, I wanted to laugh, but instead I was a little pissed. So, there you go.

The Shield

New season of The Shield starts tomorrow - FX network, 10 pm. I'm not one to get excited for TV shows, but this show is freakin' awesome. Best cop show on TV. Watch it.

Easy voting guide

Forget issues and platforms -- this voter guide lets you shoot people.

Crimson Room

Can you escape the Crimson Room?

Fuck Baseball

I'm not sure if many people here read ESPN Page 2's Ralph Wiley, but I must say, the more I read him, the more I can't stand him. He recently wrote an article about how Bonds can't possibly be on steroids, and basically how he's being ridiculed for his recent greatness. Wiley says that one of the main reasons is because Bonds is black. He even made this statement about Ruth: "How many homers would the Babe have hit if he'd stayed in shape -- or played against African-Americans?"

WTF is that supposed to mean? Every issue with this jackass is always turned into a black/white thing. It wasn't the Babe that kept blacks out of baseball, and as far as I know, aside from the drinking, the Babe did nothing else to 'enhance' his skills. Wouldn't be just as easy to say something like "Bonds has been a fantastic player even when it was assumed he wasn't juicing, why should we think he's juicing now?" Even though his gigantic water-retaining head kinda looks like a roid-junkies to me.

Just venting.....

Political Compass

This is an interesting site - it refutes the notion of "left" and "right" in determining an individual's political leanings, and instead graphs your standing in a nice, well, graph. It also depicts where Presidential Candidates reside (a bit irrelevant now) and, in an awesome display of the enjoyment of graphing, the political tendencies of leaders in the past. Neat.

For the record, I got an Economic -7.12, and a Social Libertarian/Authroitarian -3.64. These numbers will become relevant once you take the test. Essentially, it makes me a little more economically left leaning than Nelson Mandela, and only a little less Libertarian than the Dalai Lama. Which I believes makes me as benevolent as Buddha, or at least as holy as the Aztec God of Sexy Panties and Really Thick Chocolate Milkshakes or something.

Yay Football

This offseason rules. Big news for me - just like I predicted on our Fantasy Football page back in Week 2 - is TO to Baltimore. I also predicted that, if it happened, Baltimore would win 2 Super Bowls in three years. Please have the decency not to call me on that.

And, it looks like Moss to Miami, Kearse is in Philly (what say you, Roy?), the Portis-Bailey swap.

So two questions: what's the best offseason move yet, and who can match up with Baltimore now (especially since NE has 22-odd free agents and TEN just plain eats it)?

Too funny not to post

I just came across this article about Kinky Friedman running for governor. So Fatboy, where's the truth in the campaign slogan "Unleash your inner Texan and vote Kinky."?

Chem exams

So I absolutely hated Chemistry, and would often write stupid answers for the questions I didn't know on the exams. But this guy's exam answers blow mine away. Just a quick read to get your morning going.

And if you don't find that funny, you can read about Volvo's car designed by women. Most notable feature: you can't open the hood since it requires almost no maintenence.

Nobody cares, but...

...Joe Breeze is speaking at College Park city hall Friday at 7. He's, arguably, the inventor of the mountain bike (he is to MTBs what the Vikings were to America - all the work, none of the credit) and is currently the most vocal, intelligent, and well reasoned advocates of bicycle commuting. He can be a little naively utopian, but hey, someone has to.

I know you guys could give a damn about two wheeled travel, but this is big stuff. It's for sure way cooler than Roy's visiting statistican from a few months ago, at least College Park Bikes - next to 7-11 on Knox - is having a party afterward with "refreshments." Eat it, MathBoy, bikes are so much cooler than standard deviations.

Help with a translation

Some Dutch web site has posted a picture of me and a few other guys drinking in the bar in the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, it is somehow related to Alf, a carp, and some guy in a polar bear costume. But unfortunately, I can't read Dutch, so I have no idea what it's saying. Is there anyone that can translate this, or knows a good website to do it? Babel fish won't translate from Dutch to English.

Nerd Rankings

Go ahead and vote. You can still reply with comments too.

Uh-oh

Since Rick and I are the only ones who read Slashdot I won't be worried about re-posting this. It seems that flipping a coin may not be as fair as we once thought. According to this study, a coin will land on the side on which it started 51% of the time. Neat stuff.

Average Joe

Irma had the remote last night, so instead of watching non stop Discovery channels, I got to see the last 15 minutes of Average Joe. It was kind of funny that the chick that had to pick from all the guys ended up getting dumped herself. Anyway, I thought this would spark some conversation on the site since previous threads about Joe Millionaire indicate that you all seem to like these types of shows- except Chris, he's still straight.

Nate's Afternoon

Ok...
So yesterday afternoon, I have an appointment to get my back right bottom wisdom tooth pulled. I go into the dentist, and he gives me about 5 needles of Novocain in the gums. Doc starts to dig & yank, and at first I don't feel anything, but he did something' and I started to feel the roots of the tooth...ouch. So he needled me up 4 more times....for a grand total of 180mg of Novocain. So I'm nice & numb and not feeling anything.

The Doc is standing over me, with his left hand under my jaw and thumb in my mouth to hold tight while his right hand has some medieval torture device going to town on my tooth. Now I can't feel any of this, but my jaw socket feels like it's gonna pop out at any minute. After about 30 minutes of pulling and getting nowhere, he decides to try to cut it out piece by piece.

He's cutting this thing with one of those tools that looks like it's made to dig into cavities, only bigger. It stinks something awful. After he's done cutting he was able to remove the top portion of the tooth. He goes back into his torture stance and tries to yank the remaining 3/4 of tooth out. The thing doesn't budge. He's been working on me for a good 50 minutes. They speak amongst themselves and decide to send me to an oral surgeon immediately.

I get to the oral surgeon (which is luckily right next to my apartment) just in time for the Novocain to slowly start wearing off. They x-ray me, and sit me down as soon as I get in there. The oral surgeon tells me they can't numb me anymore, because 180mg of Novocain is as much as my weight can handle, and anymore will cause some bad side-effects (like burning piss). So they ask me if I want to get it done there and then, with the numbness I have (which is still pretty darn numb), or wait and come back tomorrow (today) and deal with the pain and sensitivity of it that night. I tell them let's get it done and over with (or dum an ober wif...as they probably heard).

The Oral surgeon breaks out a scalpel and cuts into the gum and around the root of the wisdom tooth while her assistant sprays cold water to clean it, but I'm feeling that cold water. Then the surgeon breaks out what amounts to a small bone saw and what looks like a small hand-held grind stone and cuts away. The tooth is burning and stinking to high hell. She then assume the aforementioned torture position and goes to work, and huzzah, she's able to extract the tooth. Now for the stitches. 8 stitches in my gums, and I felt every single needle poke.

The worst part about this whole ordeal, I was AWAKE the WHOLE time.

rack me...

We suck at golf

So Mike, Pat and I went to hit the little white ball around on Sunday. A kid who was like, 11 years old joined us to make the foursome. As expected, he whooped on us. Gunner was even giving me advice halfway through the 1st hole cause I was so bad. And for the record, I managed not to drop the F-bomb... until the 7th hole. Although I think he started dropping them much earlier. Cool kid.

Wine

So apparently this wine consistently beats much more expensive wines in taste tests. Unfortunately it is not available in Maryland. Anyway, I heard a discussion about it on the radio, and it is referred to as Two Buck Chuck. I dunno, it's early.