From time to time I see something on campus that makes me glad I'm around this university all the time: religious zealots, girls making the walk of shame, etc. But every once in a while, I see something that makes me think it's time to go. I was reading the diamonback today, specifically an editoral piece by a junior commenting on the governor's remark about the university being a good deal. The author mentioned what really qualify as good deals: 12 packages of Ramen noodles for $1, Friday night O's tickets for $5, and Dollar Bud night at Cornerstone. That's right, Cornerstone. I remember back in the day when Dollar Bud night used to mean the Fe. In the good old days, Bentley's was the jock bar, Cornerstone was the Greek bar (well, more Greek than the others anyway), and the Fe was...well the Fe was good for three things: Mardi Gras, Half-way to Mardi Gras, and Dollar Bud night. But times have changed, the bars have morphed into one another, and the campus, not to mention me, is the worse for it.
From Page 2:
Or, maybe this is what keeps you in touch: If you're the first to jump into the conga line at a wedding, or if the hair on the back of your neck stands up at the opportunity to break out "the lawn mower," "the shopping cart," or "the sprinkler" in the middle of a crowded bar . . . then you're in touch with the cheese.
Even if you aren't, you certainly know someone who is. That friend of yours ... the one who has never met a limbo stick he hasn't arched his back under. Yeah, that one. The DJ says, "How low can you go?" and you stare at your friend and think you can answer for him. This is the guy who, by some quirk of Richard Simmons fate, is missing the gene responsible for embarrassment. This is the guy, perfectly normal up to this moment in the evening, who can suddenly make you cringe in absolute horror by quoting "Star Trek" as if it were Shakespeare at the most inopportune time.
My votes go for Rob and Rick, any others?
Wow, this is the state I live in. There's a debate going on as to how to portray the origins of life in Texas textbooks. Fundamentalists want to question evolution, and put in another theory about "intelligent design." In a science book.
I always thought that ties cut off the circulation to your brain, but now it seems that they cause blindness. And here I used to think it was just masturbation that caused blindness.
Hey folks, for those coming out on Saturday for the end of season party [PDF], we have a room reserved at The Golden Tulip hotel in Bethesda (7740 Wisconsin, 301-656-2100). We welcome everyone and anyone to crash with us. If you would like another room in the same hotel, use travelocity's page to get two beds for $119 + $18.50.
A pill to cure compulsive shopping? I need to buy some! (bad joke, I know). But really, I could use this. Last week I got packages from 4 different internet stores on the same day. And I managed to drop several hundred dollars yesterday at Best Buy. Granted, all the stuff is a gift for my dad, but I must admit it was fun buying 50+ pounds of electronics.
So this weekend turned out to be pretty fun. I realized although I still suck at golf, I can still drink a lot. And I got my nerd fix by helping out with getting Chad's PS2 connected to the internet. Now I can watch Chad play Madden with strangers with names like "cool_d00d"
On another note, this Saturday is the End Of Season party for kickball. Free for members, $5 for non-members. Lots of drinking and dancing will be involved, so everyone should come. Unless they are working, in which case.... quit your job and come out anyway.
i've learned many things recently. take tonight, for instance. i've learned that the worst job in baltimore is being the grinch for christmas in july, and i've learned that the guy in the riendeeerr corstume doesn't like it swhen you make ufn o fit. bah, i'm gong to try to make posting at the is websit e a common thing for me, it's easier than eamial, idon't have lla your addresseds on my home comptehre anywhay, so there. post me.
I'm sorry to Roy, Mike, and Paige (if she reads this). But some guy decided to take some quotes from the first Harry Potter book and replace "wand" with "wang". Below are some of the results. Enjoy :)
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
As many of you know, the University of Maryland is undergoing drastic budget cuts to try to balance the budget yada yada yada. This affects all departments, but particularly those that are already in debt, such as the folks who manage the university's energy consumption. So what have they decided to do to cut costs? Raise the thermostats in each building (except necessary labs and libraries) to a nice, comfortable, relaxing 78 degrees. No more freezing in the office for me!
So, this is largely for Rick, but I figured everyone might be kind of interested:
How does the intellectual property for what you do at work operate? If you type up a program, who has the copyright to the program? To the code? Do you have a contract with your employer agreeing that everything you produce is the property of the company? Just curious.
This was a posting on Slashdot, a Linux geek website today. Other than the part about working ten hours a day, this could be Rick. Shit, it could be me, dammit I hate my job.
So Mike, Rick and I went to Los Panchos last night after we played golf (Mr. Nelson was only 2 strokes back) and we had quite the experience. There were 3 patrons in there...US. Now I know it was a Monday night in the summer, but the lights were all off except for maybe 3, the AC was off, and the employees (30 of them) were sitting around watching some movie, and there was no music at all. So, if you liked Los Panchos, you better get there soon, cause no doubt it will be burned to the ground in a blatant fraud attempt in approximately 1 month.
They do still have $4 gigantic beers though.
Just got back from Key West and I'm sure you're wondering if I had a good time. Well, I'm having a hard time recalling everything but here goes.
I saw two of the most beautiful beaches
I got a splinter - 50 feet out in the ocean
I saw houses with porches and palm trees
I got so disgusted at the Margaritaville Cafe that I vowed never to set foot in there again...and then promptly broke that vow
I met a bartender who grew up near where my mom was born in South Africa
I met a guy who lived most of his life not 20 minutes from where I was born in Israel
I met a guy with the coolest Hawaiian shirt. He was from Hawaii, of all places.
I found out what college-chick bartenders read when business is slow: Crime and Punishment
I rode a bicycle without killing anyone (when we were shopping around to rent bikes, one place was going to charge us $18 for the day, actual response from paige: "18 dollars? That's like 4 drinks.")
I went into a clothing optional bar...unknowingly, and saw all i needed to see to get the hell out of there right away
I had a drunk ask me what I thought about "that gulf war" and then proceed to tell me he doesn't talk politics
I heard a band of all black men sing "play that funky music white boy"
I heard a band play "god's own drunk"
I was invited to swing dance by dueling piano players
I sang at Captain Tony's
I lied about being in military
I bought rum from a liquor store that closes at 4 a.m.
I did shots with the girlfriend of the grandson of Captain Tony. The grandson wasn't available, he's up in Marathon Key (read: jail) for the next 40 days
So yeah, I had a damn good time.
It's a good thing Pratt Street never used the E and F chords a lot -- because then Metallica would sue them, claiming people associate those chords to Metallica, so they should get paid whenever songs are played that use those chords.
In other news, who the hell still listens to Metallica?
So Pat Robertson has called for a "prayer offensive" to allow God to remove three Supreme Court justices; no doubt a response to the recent ruling that decriminalized sodomy. Let's keep in mind the only ways off the bench is to voluntarily retire, or die.
This is the first time I have had access to a real computer since I have been down here. TV based internet sucks. I don't have anything terribly relevant to say, but I am planning on trying to come back eventually, perhaps for the 26th, and certainly for the kickball playoffs. I hope everyone is doing well, and I'll catch you guys later.
Chicago was fun. We saw the Cubs play a couple of times. Sammy Sosa was a cash cow to Ms. Pali due to our various betting schemes we had going on. And we did the touristy stuff like going to the top of Sears tower. And we saw the aquarium, the museum, the planetarium.... and by "saw" I mean we "went into the gift shops". Good times.
So now it looks like someone else is going for the trip, instead of myself and a senior engineer. Asspoo. I really wanted to get my fill of "seamen" jokes. Oh well. It was a fun fantasy while it lasted.
In other news, I've lost enough weight due to the whole sickness thing that my watch now rotates freely around my wrist, and my belt is now on a new notch. I am a sexy bitch, baby!
This site's pretty funny. Not because the French opposed going to war with Iraq (I actually agreed with that), but just because of my general dislike of France to begin with. Stupid frogs.
http://www.sendbackliberty.us/otherchanges.php
So it looks like John isn't the only one that gets to spend time in Florida for his job. I'll be flying down there on the 20th, and then take a helicopter ride to some sort of naval vessel (destroyer or possibly an aircraft carrier) where I'll spend the next 10 days doing engineering stuff. Yay! Let's just hope the disease-of-death is cleared up by then...
So it looks like SARS has been contained. You know, except for in my apartment, where I've been bed-ridden for two days. Hey, at least I got a 4-day weekend out of it...
So I've decided that Cimorelli is the new hater. I come home after working the night shift (no, not working at Night Shift, working the night shift) and he's asleep on the fold-out with two girls in the bed. I step into my room and the only thing on my bed is the new Harry Potter book. Honestly though, I hope that the rest of you haters had fun last night, except you Roy, since its you we all have to blame for injecting that word into our vocabulary. Okay, I'm out.
Well, I've sold the bar. The guy's going to pick it up this weekend. But I'm keeping all the tap equipment, and when we redo a small room by the kitchen, we're going to make a wetbar with built in taps for beer and wine. For the homebrew, I can get 5 gallon kegs, so it's not too much for me to drink before it goes bad. And Irma will now have wine on tap.
So who is coming to Florida with me? All you have to do is pay for your flight down and you'll have a free hotel room for at least the work week starting July 7th. I'll be working, but what do you care?
The Hotel