Terrapin Tables

Congratulations. That's awesome news.

I couldn't be happier for you guys. Congratulations.

Congrats to you and Paige, Roy!

Well played, sir. My congratulations were going to be pirate themed, but I couldn't think of a way to do that without calling Paige a wench. And I'm not sure she would have liked that.

Also, Ricky, Judy would like to have a word with you. It's totally your turn.

Forgot I had this on my phone...from after Chad and Kristen's bachelor parties:

Congratulations again - I'm so happy for both of you

I'm so excited for you two! Congratulations...can't wait to see you soon!

Also note, this is just one more step towards me and John sharing a doublewide somewhere between Grasonville and Delaware, spending our time whittling and brewing bathtub gin. Periodically we will argue about which is more painful to human ears, the worst of the music I like or the worst of the music he likes. And then we will forget what we were arguing about because the syphillis is rotting our brains (what?) and I'll cut my thumb off trying to whittle because the bathtub moonshine has made me blind.

Congratualtions, you two, on avoiding that fate.

Thanks everyone!

congrats Roy! How can 2 people that are so smart be doing something so stu....errr.. crazy :)

Shall we start the gambling now?

Odds the ceremony officiant mentions a deity during the ceremony: 2 to 1

Over-under on number of Buffett songs during the reception: 4.5

Over-under on types of rum available at the bar: 5.5

Odds of Paige falling asleep at the head table: 5 to 1

Odds Rick giggles when it's called a "head" table: 1 to 1, no bets

Odds John is shaking from nerves but still delivers yet another killer speech: 7 to 1 (who knows if he's even speaking? Speculative bet, this one is)

Over-under on visible skull-and-crossbones logos during reception: 1.5

Over-under on bartenders Kristen will assault (verbally or physically) after getting cut off: 2.5

UMD victory in any sport, same date as ceremony: 2.5 to 1

Odds none of this happens, and the whole thing is done with just family on a beach in Maui: 5 to 1

Mike arrives in a white dinner jacket, carrying a Walther PPK: no idea, I just want to see it happen.

In event of beach wedding, odds of Roy in flip-flops: 2 to 1

I accept PayPal, but I don't know much about oddsmaking (which might be glaringly apparent) so I reserve the right to collect money now and, in the event you win, not pay you.

The Buffett songs one is particularly intriguing, especially if you count the cocktail hour as part of the reception. I will say that there is one bet - I won't say which - that is a complete no-brainer, and all the action ought to be on one side of it.

I think there are a couple of them that are no-brainers:

Since there will be an edict that no one gets cut off, Kristen will not assault any bartenders.

I do not own a PPK, so no bet there. I do, however, own a white dinner jacket.

Roy will wear flipflops, regardless of the venue, at some point during the festivities.

Paige will not fall asleep at the head table. She will fall asleep waiting for a drink at the bar.

Mike's just trying to keep his secret agent identity, well, a secret by playing semantic games. We all know the real PPK is illegal in America, so you actually carry the PPK/S. Don't try to get one over on me.