Terrapin Tables

You don't ride on the thing, the guy drives you home in your own car.

Unless you mean the old dude. I wouldn't ride that thing either. Maybe if I were drunk enough to let a stranger drive my car, maybe I could be coerced, but probably not.

Also, this reminds of the classic joke about the similarities betwixt mopeds and fat girls...fun to ride until a friend sees you. I think because it makes the friend jealous, because mopeds are awesome and bony girls leave bruises.

I guess I should have said that there is no way I would do that for a living. Drive someone home and then spend 50 miles on that moped.

The only way this becomes worth it is if you get to drive some very nice cars. I wouldn't ride 50 miles on the moped to ride the 1983 K car John and I saw for sale, but I might for a chance at an M3, XKR, any AMG MB, any Porsche, an Aston Martin (preferably a DB5, although I'd take whatever was in front of me), Viper, or Corvette. Yeah, that's the list. I'd have to ask the drunk dude calling what kind of car he drove, and then I'd think about whether to jump on the moped.

Goddamn you are optimistic Mike. The kind of people that would call a moped driver to come drag their ass home are the kind of people in '84 Corollas. Or, of course, '03 Outbacks, '97-ish Probes, '03 Altimas, black Civics, a gold Explorer...you see where I'm going.

I'd like to see the moped guy get there and the car is something he just can't drive, with no space for that stupi little bike. Like a Saleen S7 - bike won't fit, and 99% of drivers couldn't release the clutch without stalling the thing. Good times. Where's your God now moped driver?

We need to go to Atlanta, rent a moped, get drunk, and then call this guy. Then we get to point and laugh. Another option: a Budget truck with a bunch of monkeys in the back. When he opens up the door, BAM! Monkey poo in the face.