So, as I predicted in so many slurred, drunken, and vaguely coherent ramblings while dripping ketchup from something Mike barbecued onto the toe of my shoe (wait, I was always in sandals...whose foot was that?), the Terps are taking it kidney-deep thanks to the ACC bringing in all those football powerhouses a few years back.
ESPN, never wrong when it comes to prognostificationology, has declared "there are legitimate concerns about Maryland's football future in the expanded ACC," and furthermore, "the Terrapins will be hard-pressed to show much improvement in 2006." To which I say, do not use "football" as an adjective, ESPN. Shows what you know.
Things to make you feel good:
- EJ's brother is a linebacker too, and he'll cut you if you say he has a girl's name.
- Josh Allen is healthy. For now.
- We have one of the best "tackle tandems" in the country, which might be a good thing...or, it might be something you pay extra for at a swinger's club. Either way, we win!
- Our other linemen are "intelligent," which is a vast improvement over the lineman paradigm.
Things to make you feel bad:
- "Jo-el Sta-tham (clap clap clapclapclap)"...was heard more than anyone will be chanting approval for Hollenbeck...and we gave a standing ovation to an unproven backup once. MDQB = SUCK (this is not a code, Rick. Or an unbalanced equation, Roy).
- 76% of passes completed last year ended up in the hands of people who are now either 49ers or grocery baggers. The Niners will win two games this year; the grocery baggers, four.
- Our new best WR has a hyphenated last name. This means he was raised in some kind of foo-foo PC lovefest. This means he expects a spirited round of two-hand touch to take place and won't exactly be Keyshawn when it comes to contact.
- Our kicker was 68% last year. Remember bigger numbers are better in this category.
The Fridge says he's tired of losing...I think he means his fork (ooh, a fat joke, classy). I, for one, will be wearing my Maryland gear to Candlestick this year and pretending the Terps are still in bowl contention.
Posted by Chris at July 18, 2006 07:45 PM