Terrapin Tables

Man, after 14 years of Madden, is it just me or is that sideways play diagram stufff disorienting as hell?

In football-game-buttons related news, I am playing a franchise with the Falcons now - still undefeated without stacking the deck - but thanks to the shift in offensive controls from '04 to '05, I hit the wrong "pull down and run the damn thing" button about a quarter of the time. So, for every stellar 40-yard Vick TD scramble there's a decidedly less impressive 14-yard loss tucked in there. Sure makes me happy to see him pump fake right into Simeon Rice's chest, or in the really inspired moments when I'm truly confused, hurdle into the arms of Trevor Price (I wish I could quit you...). Bastards and their button changing...just leave it at "triangle." Fucking L2.

After reading that article, I've been trying to think of my favorite "classic" sports video game. I've narrowed it down to two. It was either Major League Baseball for the Intellivision, with the classic, "You're out," or NHL 96 on the Sega Genesis, which had one timers and fighting.

Anyone ever play Bo Jackson Baseball for the NES? It was an okay game, and Bo would break the bat over his knee in a cut-scene if he ever struck out...but Bo never struck out. Also, if you changed the pitcher, then changed him again without throwing a pitch, sometimes a UFO would come down and zap the old pitcher with a ray gun. Seriously, I'm not making that up, and I have no explanation for it. But it was a good game.

And the best classic sports game is Kung-Fu. It's also the best classic fighting game, RPG, children's game, board game, big game hunting, da rap game, that gamey smell from under my bed, and what time is it? Game Time. Kung-Fu rules.

Man, I damn near forgot Summer Games for the Commodore 64. Even now when I'm watching the Olympics on TV and they start playing the Olympic theme, I think of it as the Epyx national anthem.