Terrapin Tables

God forbid some one would want me to wear a temporary tattoo for them. Then I'd have to invoke Groucho Marx on them.

Speaking of random, we should discuss how many 5 year olds we could beat up. Great stuff there....

Fatboy and Nate - please don't read the above post.

Thank you.

-- Management

Oh, a hundred easy. Think of the coordinated effort required by a group of children to get me down, then think abouthow one good shot from any limb would take one of them down. Especially since a few would be girls.

A hundred. Easy.

They get hand to hand combat training and I don't? That's not fair. Start out with psychological warfare; Santa Claus isn't real, the Easter Bunny isn't real, you were an accident, Bert & Ernie are lovers, that kind of stuff. 8 to 10 sounds like a good number. How about Chad versus the 5 year olds and they all have Redick jerseys on or something.

Here're the CDC Growth Charts The post said "no discernable abnormalities," so I'll take that to mean no freakishly large children. So, going with the CDC growth chart, the worst case would be a 95h percentile kid, one day before their 6th birthday, which would put them at 60 lbs, up to 4' tall. That's getting to be pretty big. I think that with the proper training (go for the balls and the eyes, and attack all at once) and motivation, it wouldn't take a whole lot for them to overpower you, maybe a dozen or so. But they've all got to come at once, because they'd be easy to take out individually.

I mean, this is a horrible topic of conversation. I can't believe you'd discuss things like this.

I'm sticking with 100. It'd be like that part in the Matrix with all those Smith clones - yeah, there's a lot of them, but only 5 or 6 can really get to you at once, and I am so not worried about a handful of 5-year-olds.

See, now I really want to try this. Someone bribe an elementary school.

Don't read the post? I think I should've come up with it.