Terrapin Tables

ODB Memorial Road Trip

So we managed to survive our road trip to Blacksburg & Ohio State. Miraculously. I am sure I will leave some highlights out, but here goes anyway.

Wednesday
-The Beer-dar is fully functional
-Two of us sleep on the couch. We haven't even gone anywhere yet. An auspicious beginning.
-Without a doubt, the absolute best T-shirts ever. "We Must Protect This Crack."
- Drunkest person of the night: I don't remember.
Thursday
-There is a flask. There is rum. Someone who may or may not have been me requests the largest size Egg Nog Milkshake available from McDonald's. Add rum. Mix with John. Good times.
- Arrive in a cow pasture to tailgate (this is not a joke). The cow pasture is also on the flight path of the airport which could not be more than a mile away.
-First game of beer pong, perhaps the first shot Tunde knocks over 3 cups.
-VaTech fans yell at Chad for pissing in a field. Um, hello, we are in a cow pasture.
-For whatever reason we have the most populated tailgate in our parking lot. I blame beer pong.
-Pretty cool football stadium.
-The most atrocious half of football I have ever been a witness to. We are gone at halftime. We are some of the last from the MD section to leave.
-Pat and I decide to yell at one of the ROTC guys sitting next to us. He is surrounded by 300 or so of his friends. We have had better ideas. The spirit of Paige Burton lives on.
-During our tailgate we attempt to procure things we should not, invite people sleeping in their car to stay in our hotel (I believe the chose their car), intercept Ron or whatever his name is, & refer to a younger woman as "a fetus."
-The ride to downtown Blacksburg is harrowing, and involves a turn that is about 179 degrees and over a curb.
-They have big cheap beers at whatever bar we were at.
-Fred Durst
-Take a 90 minute tour of the greater Christiansburg/Blacksburg area.
-An exchange at the hotel:
"Give me your car keys & I will give you a key to the room."
"I already have a key to the room."
"No you don't, you gave it to me."
"Oh, okay."
-3-4 am trip to Denny's by some of the party.
-Chad manages to take off his shoes but sleeps in a baseball cap & knit hat.
-Drunkest person of the night: Pat.
Friday
-Vanity Plate: USED CAT
-The Beer-dar is functioning. Boo alcohol content restrictions.
-Really cool Ohio State Hall of Fame bar.
-Conversation with a man in silver & red face paint & giant red wig.
-Watch a Jerry Springer Episode break out at the Pacers-Pistons game in a bar. Lots of oohs & aahs.
-Tunde playing skeeball.
-Pondering what to use our tickets on. Openly considering nail polish before acquiring handcuffs. Mind you, it is a group of four guys.
Saturday
-One of few people tailgating in our lot at OSU-Michigan game.
-Seeing man in silver & red face paint & giant red wig. I wonder if he slept that way.
-Successfully scalp tickets to the game.
-Getting yelled at by chick in football helmet with microphone about beer pong shirt.
-Pretty cool football stadium holding over 100,000 people.
-The dotting of the "I" in Ohio.
-Michigan fan holding sign that says "Ohio, learn how to vote."
-Intermittently entertaining & perplexing cheers by fans.
-Watching fans rush the field.
-Liquor store near hotel which carried Jell-o, & plastic cups for Jell-o shots. Convincing Chad not to buy liquor dispensing statue where the liquor flows from a simulation of the statue urinating.
-Absolutely delicious meal at a place called Hoggy's.
-Tunde requesting Coors Light blimp.
-Tunde receiving Coors Light blimp.
-Walking into Damon's, not making it past the hostess stand before deciding to leave.
-Finding Derby's, a local's bar in a strip mall.
-Guy in pink Cubs shirt & pink hat with girl in pants covered with zippers.
-Female acquaintance of pink guy streaking across bar and shoving zipper pants girl to the floor.
-Tunde dancing by himself.
-Tunde dancing with others.
-$100 dollar bar tab. For four of us. Beers were like $2.25. Ugh.
-Drunkest person of the night: I am going to call it a tie between Tunde & myself. It should be noted that upon returning to the hotel I was outfitted with a knit hat and a lampshade covering my crotch, neither of which I was responsible or conscious for.