Terrapin Tables

Coffee

The coffee-maker has power over me. Every time I want coffee at work I have to make coffee. Now, you are saying to yourself, "That happens to me too. I can relate to your statement. We share a common bond. You should do mundane stand-up comedy" LIAR! It may happen to you often, but it happens to me every single, solitary time. Dutifully, I get another filter, tear open another packet of coffee (sealed to keep all the crappiness from escaping), press the start button and stare at the machine quizzically. I am Pavlov's dog. I don't even like coffee that much. However, after ascending the stairs to get coffee and killing a little time in my day, I am going to have a cup of coffee god damn it. Now I am upstairs and I have to kill time during my time-killing venture while I wait for the coffee-brewing process to complete. So I go talk to Crissy at the receptionist's desk. I return to the coffeee machine after it stops making that pressurized air noise. Alas, this is too soon, as there is still coffee that has to leak through the filter. So I shake the basket thingy to expediate the filtration process. I have even placed this humorous instruction sheet in the kitchen to aid in people besides me making coffee. Generally I find the sheet hilarious, though it seems only to amuse me. I now want another cup of coffee. But you knew that was coming, didn't you. You knew I was going to write that. But now you, also, want a cup of coffee. Or a latte, or a mochachino, or a capahobokenbustacapacino or some other fancy sounding thing that I can't spell let alone order. Well go have one, for you are sheep just as I. Baaa.