Very rarely do I indulge in such things, but this morning I arrived at work extremely early to try to catch up on things and I needed a slight break before I started my actual day. Enter the Dante Inferno Test.
Find out which circle of hell you will banished to! Fun for all ages!
Apparently premarital sex, masturbation, and visits to strip clubs have been enough to land me in the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis - Satan's wretched city where there is a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. There are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. I will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.
Oh yes, and the fact that I don't believe in religion or that there is no such thing as objective morality could have contributed too. Such the little heretic, I am.
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very High
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | Moderate
Level 5 | High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | High
Level 8- the Malebolge | High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Moderate
I managed Level 2, which apparently doesn't have a cool name like "The City of Dis." It should be noted that I counted Taco Bell as a restaurant for the purposes of the quiz. "Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate." Sweet. Perhaps I can have a historically relevant threesome.
Posted by: John at September 2, 2004 10:29 AMSweet. The City of Dis for me as well. It'll be like a country club since we've got a wide plain with iron walls protecting us from the others. Although it would be nice to see what Cleopatra and Helen look like, since they're supposed to be like, the hottest women ever. I'm curious to see what passed for "hot" thousands of years ago.
Posted by: Rick at September 2, 2004 11:08 AMI am on the 8th level. I can't help it, I just think a pimp is a good thing to be. Pimping ain't easy, but it's necessary.
Posted by: Pat at September 2, 2004 12:02 PMSee you in the City of Dis, Meg. We'll party.
Posted by: Nate at September 2, 2004 01:52 PMDammit, I only reached the 6th level. You would have had to have thought I would sink much lower than that, perhap's Satan's sub-basement, the broom closet of the damned, or Cameron Indoor Stadium.
I need to start praying, giving money to poor people, or letting priests feel me up so I can make it up to level 2...I want to party with the "lustful" crowd.
well, i've made it to purgatory. surprise surprise. apparently sinning but believing in something higher means you'll be ok.
it's kinda funny because i just took this test in the library of Mercy Hospital founded by the Sisters of Mercy. i'm glad no nuns were around. i'm secretly hoping that the librarian will see the website on the log and take the test.
john, i'm surprised that you are only in level 2. you always claim to be the devil. you need to start living up to your promises.
Yep, I'm joining you guys in Level 6. And Rick, yes, Helen and Cleopatra were supposed to be hot, but think about how many women will be joining you in the City of Dis. Good times.
Posted by: Mike at September 2, 2004 06:01 PMThe greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Am I the only knucklehead on Level 2? Stinks. I am going to be lonely. Apparently I need to do other evil things besides being hungry & horny.
Posted by: John at September 2, 2004 06:33 PMI'll join you in Level 2. (Stupid seducing people and then losing interest soon afterwards). Anyway, those chicks ought to be hotter than those in level 6, or at least, since it's the "lust" level, more willing to do things.
Posted by: fatboy at September 2, 2004 06:44 PMAs much as I am happy for all of the company that will be joining me in Level 6 (and the idea that it is a country club? super sweet), I can't help but be slightly jealous of Level 2. I'm with Fatboy on this... I just feel as though 2 would be the place to be. Stupid Sixth Level. Wait, isn't envy one of those crazy sins too?
doleful sigh.
Posted by: Meg at September 2, 2004 07:45 PMJust thought I'd chime in and let you all know I'll be joining John, Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, and fatboy in level 2. *sigh* I think I need to work on being more evil...
On another note, wanted to let you all know that I'm moving to Jersey at the end of the month - well, I guess its the same note, since I'm moving in with Alex. Yay lust!
Posted by: Katie V at September 2, 2004 10:18 PM