Terrapin Tables

Can I chime in?

Bourne Supremacy - I didn't think the first one was anything special, so I wasn't let down by the "meh" feeling I was left with after this one. I say more vengeance, less running - but it is the second of three, right?

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle - was really good. Seriously, I can't believe it either. Smarter than Dude Where's My Car (as are rocks, twigs, and my fecal matter) despite the comparisons. It's a good time.

Napoleon Dynamite - Well done/acted/written goofball characters + charming ending + feeling of uniqueness = winner. Kind of like Lost in Translation: you're not going to be blown away, or on the edge of your seat, but you'll be glad you watched it.

Bad Santa - Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Rent it (the unrated Badder Santa version, of course) today.

Hellboy - better than the anti-hype, but still not a top-level movie a la your Spidermans and XMens. Worth a watch, but there is a (unintentional, not kitsch) cheesy low-budget feeling in the acting and effects that I just can't get past.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - What Rick and J should be watching on dates. Incredibly original, a great love story without the excess sugar, great acting, one of the best in a while. Charlie Kaufman strikes again.

Hey, we did watch that on a date. Go me. And I liked it as well. It's hard to write stories like that, and he pulled it off. I haven't seen the other movies on your review list, but I plan to (even Hellboy, only because I like the idea of a monster turning good and then having his horns sawed off).

Not sawed - he files them down to try to fit in. See, that's really funny. But there are enough cheap effects etc. that the clever moments are outshone by the half-assed ones. Still, check it out. I can let oyu borrow an .avi, but you can just Netflix it for free.

I'll chime in with my 2 cents worth, too.

The Last Samurai - Pretty good. Negative points for bastardizing history and making the hero an American, but still entertaining and worth owning the DVD.

50 First Dates - Saw it on the airplane back from Tahiti. Worth passing the time in an airplane, but not much else. And I thought the ending was pretty gimmicky.

Dodgeball - Um, yeah.

Starsky and Hutch - Funny in a Zoolander sort of way. I've got the DVD, and will probably watch it again.

Secretary - "A young woman, recently released from a mental hospital, gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer, where their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one." I missed the first third, but still pretty funny.

Secretary was cool - I really like Maggie Gyllenynhalleny or whatever her name is. If you want to check out another flick from the derranged/weirdly funny column, there's a movie called May(on dvd about two years) with some chick that obesses over a dude, then gets nuts and kills things, but not in a typical Friday the 13th way. Anyway, it's neat, and the dude she's nuts for is Jeremy Sisto, so at least there is one person from Suicide Kings in it. Which, apparently, is a new barometer for judging a cast. Whatever.

Oh, also, by the end of the day, I should have Anchorman, White Chicks, Troy, Paycheck, Eurotrip, and Outfoxed down, so tune it later kiddies for all those reviews.

Saw Collateral this evening. Entertaining but seems to lack, I guess depth is the right word. Tom Cruise as the backseat philospher/hitman, Jaime Foxx as the sympathetic taxi driver. There are genuinely funny moments, though the movie has a slow start and somewhat predctable, though circuitous end. Some unlikely occurences in the movie, which don't help, though I don't really know much about how elevators work. Anyway, in my opinion, not as good as Heat, though not much is (in my opinion).

Here we go again:

Troy - Sucked balls. Incredibly uneven with it's representation of history...the film assumes the audience knows some parts of "history," others are spelled out way too plainly. Not to mention the entire plot arc is rewritten for Hollywood. Also, the actors, especially Pitt, totally phoned it in. In the "bonus shite" department, if you know your geography (and I won the Geography Bee in 8th grade, so watch out) you'll notice the sun repeatedly rises in the West/Northwest, probably because Petersen didn't want to violate the stupid convention that invaders/travellers are always travelling left to right (see Frodo for a prime example) yet "needed" dramatic sunrises. I was dying for this to end, and when it did I wept for the three hours of precious youth never to return.

Girl Next Door - Awesome. Probably my favorite celeb chick (Cuthbert) in a movie that's often hilarious and is, delightfully, chock full of hot chicks and unneccessary nudity. I think Rick will really like this - Netflix it. You can even watch it with the J, as it's a love story, and all that porn is sure to get her in the mood for the good old DVDA. Go 'head Rick, tell her what your favorite acronym means. Go on.

Metallica: Some Kind of Monster - I had no respect for half the band (the highly visible half) because Lars and James are whiny, petty bastards that, as exclusive songwriters for the band until the very recent past, haven't put out a good record in over ten years. Hammet, however, is an assuming guitar god, though, and wins points with me for that, and new bassist Robert Trujillo has been in the band for about a year, so he is exempt from my anti-Metallica scorn. He's badass anyway - don't act like you don't know Suicidal Tendencies. I went in open minded, but my suspicions weren't challenged. If you want to watch multi-multi-millionaires whine about their feelings of unappreciation and worthlessness, watch it. If not, do anything else.

Eurotrip - okay; below Road Trip for laughs but better than, say, Van Wilder. Redeemed by a bunch of really hot chicks and the Cooper character, who may look like David Spade the 2nd but acts like the voice in my head. And, not as much "dumb American in Europe" gags as you would think. Plus, 5 extra points for absinthe.

Anchorman - way better than I thought it would be, despite my dislike of Will Ferrrel (the "big inappropriate idiot was perfected with Homer). I was laughing out loud, which doesn't happen often, probably waking roommates as it was 4 am. I'm sure you've all seen it, but I dug it and didn't think I would.

Coming in the next two days: Hero, The Village, Day After Tomorrow, Orange County, Super Size Me, I Robot, The Hot Chick, and Outfoxed.