So this weekend proved to be pretty fun as some of us drove up to Atlantic City for a Fatboy's bachelor party. I'd say it was a success, so thanks to the guys who came up. It's good to know that we can still drink until the sun comes up the next day...
Posted by Rick at May 24, 2004 12:41 PMWhat kind of recap is that? That's like saying Hitler was kind of a prick. For those that weren't there, also known as chumps, here is a bit of a recap of Chris' weekend:
Fri 4pm - get home from AC, clean house, get keg, attempt to throw large party.
11pm - thoroughly enjoying small party.
Sat 4am - sleep
Sat 10 - get birthday phone call from mommy, wake up.
12 - get out of bed, spew rest of keg into backyard, shower
1:30 - take back keg and pump, blow out for Odenton. 115 mph on 32.
2:30 - head out for AC
3, 3:02, 3:04, 3:15, etc. - South Batimore Bukkake Squad
6:30 - Flagship resort. Check in. Watch engineers struggle with ironing board.
7:00 - Planet Hollywood. The beering begins. Fatboy enjoys a bit of my Mr. Roboto in his ear, I eat a whole pizza.
8:00 - Claridge casino, $15 table. I break every rule in the book, much to the chagrin of the rest of the table, yet quickly double my chip stack. Pat, Jeff, Rick, John: not so lucky.
9:00 - Roy makes appearance late, but is still blamed for loss of chips. John accepts free beer from casino hostess after dropping his stack, declares "I guess this is all I have to show for my time in AC." Hostess fails to immediately recieve tip, growls that the beer is all he fucking deserves.
Later - things are hazy. I remember we were at the Sands, but John and I were sandy and almost napped on video poker slots. I remember walking around, laughing, bukkake, hot dogs, and an old dude slapping $5000 down on a blackjack table.
Much later - who knows - for some odd reason I have a foggy memory. We looked for the Bare Exposure club; found it and it's 300-dude-long line. Almost went to Coconuts; I almost get into fight with toothless old dude pimping the Coconuts on the corner. More hot dogs, more walking.
Sun 3:00am - You're my Angel, of the Flagship, Angel. Just dance my lap before you go, Angel. Also, a 30 pack disappeared in about 10 mins, so 2 shots and 2 beers at the Ozone bar on the 6th floor.
4:30 - back to the gaming - this time Trump Taj Mahal. Rick and I get separated from group, sit at hold'em table. There is a line to get a poker table at 4:30 on a Sunday morning. Wow. I'm drunk, fuckup bets, order, everything, drop $20 on first hand (2 pair against fullhouse). Rick makes $20 last 2 hours. I meet 2 other people - pokering within 6 feet - who had birthdays on 5/22. Nice.
6:30 - leave casino. Is it bad when you go into a casino in the dark on a Saturday night, but emerge in the daylight of Sunday morning? Didn't think so.
7:30 - group bails for home - Fatty out at 11:30 @ BWI. I stay for sleep.
10:30 - I get up, check out, forge Rick's signature on credit card receipt. Realize I only have sandals with me, but have to work later at AC Conv. Center. Get in a cab and say "Foot Locker." Get $50 New Balances, go over to KFC/Taco Bell. Have breakfast of chicken strips and nachos bellgrande. Drink 3 XL orange Slices.
11:30 - nothing to do, nowhere to go in Atlantic City. Work starts at 5, so...I go sleep on a bench in front of the convention center. Somehow, four hours pass.
4:30 - start work.
3:15 am - finish work. Begin trip home.
7:00 - arrive in Odenton, wake up Rick to get my car keys.
7:30 - home. Sleep until 5pm.
So here we are. I was up over $100 at the casino, but between throwing chips at Fatty and laying heavy to be Touched by an Angel, then buying shoes, I'm probably down $60 on the trip. But, figure the part before work was probably the best time I've had ever, I'd think it was worth it. Plus, I only made about $2000 working in AC in the last 5 days. Seriously, it was awesome to hang with Fatboy again, I had an awesome freaking day. One of the best ever. Bukkake.
Posted by: Chris at May 24, 2004 05:32 PMThanks for the detailed report... I didn't feel like typing much earlier. Although Chris covered pretty much everything, I'll honor the upcoming Havertown pub crawl by doing a highlights/lowlights summary:
Highlights:
Heh. That toothless guy was pimping Coconuts...here's the initial exchange:
Him, offering a get-in-free card: "You fellas need to get in there, I tell you no one's coming out, it must be awesome in there."
Me: "So, is it all nude?"
Him: "Hey I don't know about all that, it's my first day..."
Me: "So it's not all nude then."
He then commenced the insults and profanity. It's a minor victory to outwit a nearly-elderly man who makes his money getting tourists into a go-go bar, but hey, it made me laugh. His "people go in but they don't come out" line wasn't exactly tempting either: I see where he was going, but it was a bit too reminiscent of a roach motel for me. If I wanted my last sight to be New Jersey girls in bikinis I'm sure I could have done better shooting myself in the face in Cape May.
I, like Rick, would have liked Fatty to be a bit more trashed, but we were on a very tight timeframe. Ideally, we'd have had the whole weekend, and Fatty would have seen dawn Sunday from under a peir, the back of a stranger's car, a park bench, or, in the most probable scenario, a holding cell.
Speaking of which, we didn't break any laws at all, did we? If we did, I think I had all three - reckless driving probably kicked in going about 95 in a 65, I forged Rick's sig on the hotel credit card receipt, and perhaps I got a bit carried away with our clothing impaired friend. Note to readers: no one had sex with a NJ stripper.
Posted by: Chris at May 25, 2004 02:27 AMSpeaking of the stripper, here she is. I think this is the only picture we took all weekend.
As far as not getting me as drunk as I could have been, we can make up for it next time I'm up there.
Posted by: Fatboy at May 25, 2004 08:43 AMI think I jaywalked a couple of times.
Much better recaps than I could have ever thought to write. I just loved the people at the blackjack table who were so wrapped up in Chris' hands that they were losing their own, to the point you drove them away. Honestly, that gave me great joy. Play your own damn hands toolbags.
"Hey Pat, I am going to double down".
"But Chris, you have a 15."
"Yeah, but watch how pissed those people get".
Simultaneous giggling.
Seriously though, thanks to everyone who drove. I don't believe I even made it out of Atlantic City awake.
Posted by: Pat at May 25, 2004 09:08 AMYeah, I'd like to double Pat's sentiment of thanking the drivers, plus just generally thank everybody for showing up for my last night as a free man. It was a lot of fun.
Posted by: Fatboy at May 25, 2004 09:33 AMThat picture with Angel is unbelievably funny. The fear in her eyes is tangible. Some other comments from the weekend:
- Angel crawling up on BJ while he was half asleep and wakes up and breaks into a half-hearted arm-waving dance.
- I got the Ray Charles (that's right, Ray Charles) slot machine to sing 'America the Beautiful' to me or something.
- Someone getting into a cab and dropping their cigarette on the ground in case smoking wasn't allowed in the cab, then the person behind them picking up the cigarette, taking a drag, and saying "You dropped something" before both parties smoking the rest of the cigarette.
- Single-handedly keeping the sidewalk hot dog vendors in business.
- The Jitney drivers/Jitneys/Sunday School on wheels. And the Jitney passengers and their amazing capacity to repeat themselves: "Darwin is Dead. Jesus is not. Who would you believe?" You can't argue with that logic.
- The unintentional comedy of having BET on while Angel is there. The choice words that BET drops at that time of day is amazing.