What the hell is wrong with the people who make razors? There is some sort of arms race about razors now to see who can put out the most models of razor for every face-type. My face is curious looking and round. Do you have a razor for that? I have seen a lot of faces in my day and most of them are pretty much the same friggin thing. Is there anyone out there with mutant facial hair? Who is growing fiber-optic cable out of their face? Ooh, I have sensitive skin, I need this certain type of razor. No, you need a man purse. Anyway you are about to take a piece of sharpened metal and scrape it across your face. Shit happens. Every time I shave and I don't come out looking like I just went through my windshield at 60 mph, I think "One Shining Moment" should play. If I am gonna buy one of your god forsaken 6 dollar useless pieces of plastic, do me a favor, and keep making the replacement blades for it for a year. Because as useless as the piece of crap it was before, it is even more useless if I can't buy new blades to put in it. Shaving with an old blade eventually becomes like shaving with a shard of glass. So stop sticking 8 razor blades on the head of the god damn thing so I don't have to work overtime to afford a new one. If there are 14 blades on the thing, guess what, all 14 of them wear out, and since you decided to use all of the metal from a melted down a Pinto to make the blade, and space shuttle technology, it costs more than a 'happy ending.'
Posted by John at April 7, 2004 03:40 PMSince my laziness knows no bounds, I eschew the minimal effort of blades and cream for the even less involved world of electric razors. I've had, however, the same problems as John.
Trying to find the best shaver, I did a bit of research, and what did I find? All the best reviews pointed to a razor that costs over $150 and has a goddamn LCD screen on it. That's right, apparently there is a need for me to monitor my razor beyond the detection of whether or not there is increasingly more skin visible on my head. You may be forced to slice yourself with a scaled-down, albeit hand-held, wheat thresher, but I apparently now need a razor described as "interactive."
Speaking of Ford Pinto-as-razor blades...any truth to the rumor that the Exxon Valdez was scrapped for blades? A really quick Google showed nothing, but I seem to remember some report from 60 minutes or something that if you shaved in the late '90s, you've cut yourself with a piece of the Valdez. Whatever.
Posted by: Chris at April 7, 2004 04:08 PMAn LCD screen on a razor is ridiculous, but I'm not one to talk... since it would go well with my $110 toothbrush. Quadpacing action, baby. Oh, and it came with a CD-ROM.
Anywho, I've heard using a straight razor gets you the best shave. But I don't feel like hanging a strap of leather in my bathroom to keep the thing sharp. I've also heard disposable ladie's razors are a better deal than the Mach 3 crap, so that might be worth a try (I think Mach 3 is better, but probably not cheaper).
Posted by: Rick at April 7, 2004 05:10 PMI just get the pack of 2000 regular razors from Sam's Club for about 15 bucks. I think I've had this bag full of plain, 2 blade razors for a couple of years, and have maybe gone through a couple dozen. Now if we're talking about shaving ass-hair, that's a different story. I'll need some sort of bushwacker since it looks like I'm shitting Buckwheat.
Posted by: Nate at April 7, 2004 08:35 PMGotta love how Nate always comes incorrect...
Wellity wellity wellity...in my ongoing struggle to find a shave that is both a) close and b) simpler than passing out in a bathroom, I decided I needed a new electric razor. Not just because of this thread, but I've been researching and contemplating a new electric - I've been using the same one since '98 without even replacing the blades. So, after careful study, I am a new owner of this. It's the same shaver as the LCD-equipped, self-clean-in-an-alcohol-reservoir models (Braun 7000-series all cut the same) just without the nonsense. You don't care, but I'll let you know how it shaves tomorrow. I'm excited.
Posted by: Chris at April 7, 2004 08:56 PMRick, I think you might have a new way to sell those anal razors. Customer #1.
Posted by: Pat at April 8, 2004 08:46 AM