Terrapin Tables

That would be kinda cool. For what it's worth, you can only make a half-clone at first: about half of Jesus' genes would be paired up with the genes of the surrogate mother. If you wanted a purer Jesus, you'd have to use a girl Jesus and implant her with real Jesus DNA. You then wait for a 3/4 girl Jesus and repeat. Anywho, I think it would be neat since we'd be able to figure out his genetic makeup and all. But I doubt he'd, you know, be able walk on water and such. Which would cause panic and all sorts of craziness with the relgious loonies. Cloning Jesus is probably a not-well-thought-out idea.

Which brings up a good followup question: would you bang girl Jesus if she was hot? That'd be a great story.

Update: Yeah, my bad. I forgot about the Somatic Cell Nuclear Transfer method. Silly me :)

If you could somehow find his DNA, then yes, you could clone his body. However, looking at this purely scientifically and avoiding any religious or philosophical arguments, an exact genetic clone of an organism is not an exact replica of that organism. There is a good article describing this on Nature's website. But basically, there is far more to development than just genes- especially the conditions surrounding the fetus during development. For example, in alligators, no matter what the genetics, it is the temperature of the eggs that determines sex. A recently cloned cat has a different fur coloration than its mother. In mice, there's even evidence that where the sperm penetrates the egg determines where the head and feet will be. So, although there has not been much work on cloning humans, I'm sure that scientists will find similar, non-genetic influences in early development.

In response to Rick's post, here is another article from Nature. Scientists are finding new ways of doing cloning that allow you to use adult DNA from an already specialized cell, and implant it into an egg cell, to make an exact genetic copy of the adult in one step. Actually, I suppose it's also worth mentioning that copying only the DNA from the nucleus does not produce an exact genetic copy, because there is also DNA in mitochondria. So, for a fully genetically identical organism, you would have to find an egg cell with the same mitochondrial DNA (which is passed down straight from the mother, with no influence from the father).

There should be a warning that says participation in this conversation may punch your ticket for one of the balmier regions of hell. Would I sleep with the female Jesus? I dunno, thats a lot of pressure. How it went might end up in some book that lots of people read. And not to make this argument sexist, would the ladies sleep with the Jesus clone?

Yeah, having that shit end up in the New New Testament would be interesting.

And then Jesuelle lied down with Richard, and knew him. And behold, she awoke to find Richard, naked on the floor, who spoke the work "cock" with great liberty. And lo, he was a pathetic man.

One more thing to point out with cloning- that many people tend to forget- even if a clone were to be made with the same mitochondrial DNA, and the same conditions in the womb so as to develop the same as the donor- this is no different than an identical twin. So creating a clone of Jesus would not recreate Jesus, but just give him a twin brother about 2000 years younger.

So if you ended up marrying Jesuelle, and you'd go over for the Birthday Party/Christmas dinner and you'd have to sit there and listen to all of Jesus's accomplishments. I hear he's a nice guy, and its a good thing, 'cause otherwise I'd end up hating him. And he couldn't play in the fantasy football league.

Has God mellowed with age? In the Old Testament he's kinda mean.

Would the half Jesus turn water into O'Doul's or something?

Do you people read this shit after you post it? (Rick, Fatboy, I am looking your way...I think the science blog is on another website)

Anyway, bang the Jesus chick, but you left out the part about getting drunk before hand and not remembering if you actually banged her or not.

And I hope the new God is cooler and doesn't smote me, but instead smotes others who I don't like. And allows me to drink uncontrollably and not get a hangover...you know, like Rick.

I don't know. I think if there was a Jesuelle, she'd be kinda, ya know, easy, what with the whole "love thy neighbor" thing and all. How would a modern day Jesus dress? I think the whole toga thing went out with Ghandi, and I don't think the formality and price of the finer suits would jive with Jesus humble teachings. I think Jesus would go comfy, maybe baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.

So Roy is suggesting Jesus would dress like . . . well, Roy. So then they'd control the fashion industry too. Great.